I’m wondering, does anyone know how to stop suicidal thoughts? I’ve ben trying to deal with this problem now for a while. If anyone has any tips, please coment below.
So, these are the things I have learned not to take for granted because of having chronic illness.
I don’t take for ranted the ability to eat. I would so love to go to a restraint to get something to eat like a chicken sandwich, or that yummy ice cream, or even a soup with potatoes and cream and bacon. But I can’t.
I am stuck with getting my nutrition through a bag and a pump. It’s what keeps me alive.
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Found out I have intestinal dysmotility. I still have contrast in my small intestines from getting my tube placed last week! I also have contrast in my large intestines as well as a lot of stool. So, they cannot tell if I’m not tolerating the formula or it’s just because of my slow intestines. I’m kind of frustrated by this point but at least, they are placing a midline. I was told today that they were supposed to make a decision on whether I went on TPN or just got a port and went with a different formula, but now I have to wait until Wednesday or Thursday so they can clear out my bowels and then they can make a decision. I didn’t realize how slow my intestines were, but I can say I’m not too surprised because my stomach is almost paralyzed. This whole process is just so frustrating, and I just wish someone was here with me. I am here by myself dealing with all of this. Just feeling alone.
So, I went to get my GJ tube button placed today, and they put a J tube in my GJ stoma!!!! Ir makde a huge mistake. They didn’t even give us an extension for the tube, so we can’t even do our meds!!!! Hoping this gets fixed this morning!!! So frustrated.
Hello everyone, so I went to bed yesterday afternoon and slept until 10:57 PM. I then woke up and checked my feed bag and it was still going. I’m still waiting for it to finish so that I can change the bag. My pump keeps alarming and saying the feeding is complete, but it is not quite there yet. My homemaker is coming around 8 AM, but I really don’t have anything much else going on today. We might play our zombie game that we play on the computer, but not sure. We have therapy tomorrow, and we are looking forward to that. We called yesterday to schedule our tube change to get a button style tube that is more low profile instead of this dangler tube that is constantly getting in the way of everything. I’m waiting on interventional radiology to call me back with the date for the tube change hope everyone has a good day.
I’m at home, and I feel very awkward. Yesterday, the conversation was all about the restraunts people went to and how good the food was. I stayed out of the conversation. Then, they had my favorite meal from before I had my tube. It was lasagna with garlic bread. I just lay on the couch and pretended to be asleep. It was so hard. Just the smell alone was just…. But then, I thought of how sick the meal would make me, and yeah…. I’m fine when it’s one or two people eating in front of me, but when it’s a group, it’s overwhelmming… I also had to ask my little brother for help with pouring my formula into my bag, and I felt guilty doing it, because I thought I should be able to do this by myself!! I kinda felt like a failure… Then, my family told me my formula looked and smelled like baby formula and it looked and smelled disgusting. And I told them, well, it’s keeping me alive and left it at that.
I have to get an IV treatment every 6 months. I also have to take a liquid vitamin D suplement. Maybe Calcium as well. My doctor is also going to try and get me into home PT and she is going to try and see if my home nursing can be extended so my nurses can come once a week at least to help me look after my tube, as insurance only wants to approve them for 2 more weeks. Ugh!! I hate insurance.
I’m also being referred to an endocrinologist. I’m also getting my blood drawn this morning by my nurse.
Feeling frustrated. I was gaining weight, very but noweaI’m losing it again… My dietitian says that the 6 cartons of Vivonex 1.5 that I get a day should be enough to gain weight. If we have to increase it, I would have to increase my rate as I am already on 24 hour feeds. My GI had said that if I don’t gain weight in the next one to two months, I would have to go on TPN to get me over this initial hump. I hate this disease!
You don’t realize how much food is a part of your life until you can no longer have it. I am thankful for my feeding tube, but I do miss food a lot! You would never know by looking at me that I have gastroparesis. I just want food!!
So, we got our permanent tube placed! Yay!!! It’s a GJ tube. Still healing from the proceedure. Gastroparesis sucks, but it won’t ruin me. I now have another tool in my toolbox to make my life easier to live. #tubieLife