anorexia thoughts *TW*

Anorexia says no food, but food is fuel.

Anorexia says I’m fat, but I’m not.

Anorexia says I’m not sick enough, but I am.

Anorexia says I’m not deserving of treatment, but I am.

Ray

Always live to inspire.

Daphne

Hi my name is Daphne. Im 5. I luv peple. I luv da color blue. Me no lik memries. Me jus wanna be hapy. Me lik all you peple on heer. Luv you all.

Daphne

an email i sent Lily

Hi Lily,

ive been out all day for the most part except for when the other people were here. Jennifer and Ashley were their names i think. Ray got upset and we had to go to our room as i came out and didn’t want to be found out. we are made as to not be noticed. i know we need help, but they’re not doing anything. if we don’t get help, i fear we will die… sad, but true… we are so very very tired.

Katie 16

frum Mira

hi im so so sad so very very sad. i wan a mommy. i want sumone to hug

me and tel me it wil be ok.. jus need a hug.

Mira

So so much *tw*

Hi everybody.

This is all to much. I dont wanna die!! We are really underweight. I want help, but no one will help us!! Feels like we have no control!! I dont like not having control!!! I dont know what to do. I just… dont know!! Just want to block everything out!!! Just so much anxiety!! So much pain… just so sad… so so sad.. just so tired… want the dreams to stop… just want it all to stop!!!
Emmie 12

BPD no no no!!!

So yesterday in therapy, Lily went ove the diagnostic criteria with us for BPD. She said that even though it’s mild, i still meet criteria. I don’t agree. Maybe I’m not seeing things clearly, but i just don’t see it. I’m not out of control with anger. In fact, usually, I’m not even the one who gets angry. Usually, it’s Enigma or Amilia or someone else who holds that. Lily said that anorexia could be considered impulsive. I don’t ge that, because it’s another disorder entirely. Again, maybe I’m wrong? I just don’t want to have BPD because of the stigma. I’m also confused because before, Lily was saying that i didn’t have it, but now, she’s changed her mind, just because i was in the hospital a few weeks ago for suicidal thoughts. wouldn’t any of you be to if you were going through what we are going through? I’m just confused… Any advice? Lily said she doesn’t even want to work on the BPD because it’s not my main issue. She says my main issues are DID, PTSD, anorexia and depression. She said DID was primary along with anorexia.

Ray

At the ER again…

So we are at the ER again for psych. I just don’t understand why my insurance has to be so damn stupid!!! This is. Continuous cycle that needs to stop!!! We’re not really fixing the issue. We’re just glossing over it with a temporary band-aid.

Ray