so sad today

Just so sad today. Feelings of suicide are coming back more than ever.. I just want to make it through the day without dissociating… I feel like I could implode… I feel like I could explode… I’m praying every minute of today that God would just take away all my pain… So far, it’s not working… I don’t know who I am anymore… I just wish I knew who I was… I wish I could slip into oblivion… I just want peace… Just feeling very low today… Death seems so appealing to me at times… I know it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I’ve heard that so many times. So please don’t try to tell me that again… I just need some encouragement. That’s all I need.