So, today has been a good day. My alters are cooperating with me at the moment. I’m going to go to Burger King at 5:30. I wish my posts could be longer, but I don’t always remember what I did during the day because my alters protect me with amnesia from knowing what happened.
So, I’m very frustrated right now. The people in charge of my care aren’t taking me seriously. My doctor won’t give me the DID diagnosis because it takes like three hours to evaluate for it. My doctor only sees us for like five minutes at a time. The only one who believes me is my counselor. She can’t diagnose me though.
So, things are looking up for me. I had my care plan meeting today where we discussed my goals for the next three months. I also found a new therapist. She accepts my insurance and she treats DID. She also does Skype sessions. I’m really looking forward to this..
[categories personal, alters, DID, dissociative identity disorder]
so, I’m looking for a new therapist. I’m looking for someone in Illinois who takes Medicaid and treats dissociative identity disorder. I’m not having very much luck finding any that I can go to. I found online therapy, so hoping I can use that. I really need to get back into therapy, because Amelia is thinking about throwing up the food that we eat. I know this is not something that we should be doing, but it’s on her mind a lot.
So, I hate living with the memories from my past. They’re really bugging me. I hate sharing this body. I want my own body. It’s my job to kill the body should the memories ever come out. I just wish I could forget all about the wicked things that were done to me. Amilia
It bella and me three. me dont lik the bad stuff. me not lik the memories and stuff. me needs a frind to talk to.
So, I’ve been going to the Brighter Days Recovery center in Peoria Illinois for a while now. I like the groups they do there. I’m going to be going to McDonalds with a friend to celebrate her birthday. I can’t wait to go do that. We had a lot of fun at the brighter days center today. We went to a church and ate, and then, we were allowed to take home four items from the food pantry.
So, I’m frustrated. We were supposed to go and get government cell phones today twice, but found out that the person who’s getting them for us isn’t coming until next week. Also, people are telling me that my story of ritual abuse was for attention and that there’s no way I could have a hundred alters. I had to drop my college classes because the teachers were using visual content in their classes. I also got told by my crisis text line trainer that I had to drop out of training because their stuff wasn’t accessible with screen readers. So now, I have nothing to do. Hoping my alters don’t start acting out. I’m just so depressed and angry…..
So, I’m feeling down… I was just informed by my trainer at crisis text line that their webinar software isn’t accessible with screen readers. I wish there was a way I could still do the training. Could really use a friend right now. I’m back to having nothing to do again. I have no purpose in my life….
So I am not currently in counseling right now. I don’t know if that can happen because there are always people going and coming from the counselor’s office. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow. I’ve had a pretty good couple of days so far. I know I can be good for two months so I can move out of this place. I love my new counselor. She’s really understanding about the DID and everything. I’m really excited to be doing crisis text line training. Today, erica is happy because we are having a fruit plate for dinner. Erica is 11, and she doesn’t like to eat things that aren’t healthy. Would you like me to do a YouTube video introducing more of my alters? I only introduced five so far on my channel. There are way more of us. If anyone would like to check out my YouTube channel: