update time!!!

So, I’m tired of the staff telling me that I need to suppress my alters or that they don’t exist…. I just wish I could make them understand that I’m trying to get my point across to them…. I hate that they tell me that my alters don’t exist….

update time!!!!

So, I go on Friday to see the mental health team for a new psychiatrist, and I go on the 19th to see my new therapist. She is only going to charge us a dollar per session until our insurance kicks in. I’m looking forward to working with my therapist on the DID and BPD stuff.

to my psychiatrist

I just want to thank you for believing me and my system. It really means a lot to me. Finally after all these years, someone believes us. I’m so excited!!!! Thank you again. I really appreciate everything you do for me.

Hey, it’s Amilia, and I want to thank you for believing me. It really means a lot to me.

tired of things….

So, I’m tired of staff at my facility telling me to suppress my alters or to “Not play that game with them.” I’m tired of the nightmares and flashbacks… I’m just tired of everything….. Looking forward to leaving here in a few months. I’m going to call the place I’m going to on Monday to ask them a bunch of questions…..I’m going to ask them how they deal with BPD, self-harm, and dissociative identity disorder. I want to thank my readers for continuing to read my blog. It really means a lot to me.


So, I told the director of nursing today about what the other nurse said to me about living with DID, and she said, “There is nothing I can do about that.” The incident I’m referring to is when I went to take my meds last night and I got so excited because Amilia came out and talked to the doctor and he believed me. I told the nurse this, and she told me that she wouldn’t acknowledge the others that she would only acknowledge me as Rayette. She said the others don’t exist…. I just feel like I’m going crazy. My own family doesn’t even believe I have DID because they haven’t seen me switch in the six years that I lived with them…. Switching isn’t always obvious. It can be very subtle.

Amilia’s thoughts

So, it’s Amilia and I came out to talk to the doctor today. He believed us!!!!! This is proof that we’re not crazy. We’re still going to see another psychiatrist though.

Wednesday ramblings and staff member passing

So, yesterday, one of our beloved staff died yesterday. She meant a lot to me. I can’t go into details, but she will be missed by all here. I found a therapist who takes my insurance. We will be starting therapy on the 19th of this month. She’s only charging me a dollar for each session until my insurance kicks in.


So, last night, some alters were suicidal because of the flashbacks and nightmares. They put us on one to one last night, but communication got lost between second and third shift staff as the people this morning said I was on fifteen minute checks.
Hi, it’s Amilia, and I’m having food issues. Last night the kitchen gave us two peanut Butter sandwiches and chocolate milk. I also drank 64 ounces of water. I was full afterwards and couldn’t keep the food down….