LOST CAUSE??? *tw* suicide

Are we a lost cause? It sure seems that way.

We reach out for help, and it’s like no one hears us. Amilia reaches out, and because she can’t speak, no one listens. She wants to go back to expressing her pain in other ways.

What will it take for people to listen?

Ray

What WILL IT TAKE!!!

it’s Amilia. What will it take for people to hear us? i’ve been trying to get us help, but they don’t do anything. They see my silence as an act of defiance. I litterally cant speak. i was told by a nurse at the ER that i was faking sign language. She said that only babies and two year olds do that. all i know is we need help, but who will listen?

amilia

Quote that I made up

People’s true colors show when you’re not around. It’s sad when you have to hear from other people what people think of you.

Losing Time is Scary As Hell!!!

I hate waking up to find myself in somewhat dangerous situations. It’s rally scary to wake up for instance in the mi.le of suicide attempts or to wake up in the ER after one. Wish I could learn ways to handle this. Just feel like things are falling apart.

Ray

Long talk with insurance care coordinator

So just had a long talk with the care coordinator whose over behavioral health for my insurance. She told me that residential definitely wasn’t an option, and she also said that if inpatient ED treatment was need that it wasn’t covered either. She’s concerned about the amount of re losing, but the things she could recommend were outpatient. She wants my team to all have a conference call to discuss the future of my treatment. I told her I would do my best to work with them even though they keep blowing us off. She said we needed to focus on the ED right now and the other stuff later. I guess that’s going to have to work for now. Every time something comes up in therapy about dissociation or an alter comes out to talk, my therapist is litterally speechless. I just feel like I’m running into briak walls everywhere we turn. I mean, heck, even my PCP said I wasn’t sick enough for treatment. So if oupatient doesn’t work, we’re screwed. I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Ray