living life to the fullest with dissociative identity disorder and other mental illnesses
So, we had a good day yesterday. We hung of of some frs. Every had ice cream. I had a strawberry cheesecake blizzard. It was good. Now I feel guilty though now. Why do ow put myself this this? I know it was just ice cream, but still, I don’t know. I stayed at my friend’s house for like 2 hours. It was a good time.
Ray
im struggling. i feel fat. i feel disgusting. I ate a bowl of Crave chocolate cereal, and now I feel guilty. So many calories. i know i need to eat, but why do i feel so guilty? God i hate tthis.
Ray
So we just wanted to share our YouTube channel here. We talk about life with DID, eating disorders, depression, PTSD, BPD, and other stuff. So, come on over and SUBSCRIBE and SHARE!!!
My Multiple Life
Just type it into the searchfield.
Ray
THE MAZE OF THE STONE FACE
https://sandsoftime10blog.wordpress.com/2017/12/24/the-maze-of-the-stone-face/
— Read on sandsoftime10blog.wordpress.com/2017/12/24/the-maze-of-the-stone-face/
This is so powerful.
We have 263 followers!!! OMG!!! So excited!!
Ray
Hi everyone,
So we have a new therapist. He knows his stuff. He’s a Christian therapist. We want to believe that he won’t leave us, but there are parts who are already anticipating him leaving because of the experiences we’ve had with past online therapists. He operates from a place that you make choices, and those choices affect you like a domino effect. He is actually taking the time to read the litterature about the things in our situation that he doesn’t know about so that he can better help us.
Ray
i’m just so done with this ED and depression. I’m tired of it ruling my life. I just wish I could be ok with gaining weight. I always struggle around the time of the month because that’s when I gain like 7 pounds in a few days. I don’t like it.
Ray
So, I can’t go to Alexeon Brothers eating disorder treatment, because Medicaid apparently doesn’t cover IP. X’s such a shame as we need this treatment. I’m 96 pounds. We only continue to lose weight, no matter what I do. I’m trying, but this just makes me want to give up on recovery. Why does it have to be so hard? I spoke to my care coordinator for my insurance company, and they said that I needed to just keep going to my outpatient dietitian and therapist. Well, my therapist has no experience, and there is only so much a dietitian can do. I don’t feell safe working with my current therapist. Don’t know what to do.
Ray
Hey everyone,
So we’ve been in the hospital for like 10 days. Insurance was going to stop paying today anyway. We were supposed to have a psychiatrist appointment today, but the appointment got deleted from my caseworkers computer, so she can’t take me. Had to reschedule the appointment, but the next time he was available wasn’t until August 2. So I just got out of inpatient and have to wait until then to see him. While in the hospital, they put us on eating disorder protocol for like two days and then took us off because we were eating 50% of our meals. Was told by a psychiatrist that if I did not learn to control my dissociation I was never going to get better. He is a freaking jerk! My therapist I had there was really nice and was trying to do everything he could to get us to help we need, but the insurance company instantly shut him down when he was asking about the program in Louisiana. They said they had no funding. I find that hard to believe when they just paid for a $30,000 inpatient psych stay. This is so frustrating! I guess we are just going to have to do things on our own from now on. We are trying to meet with a different therapist who works in the same practice as Misty, but not sure how that’s going to work. Meeting with my caseworker today in my apartment. Hoping that goes well. When I got home, I had to straighten my house because my kitty cat made quite a mess while I was gone. He is back to his lovable self, and I woke up this morning to him sleeping beside me on the couch. I have an air mattress, but I’m going to have to buy a new bed because the mattress keeps losing air for some unknown reason. Well in the hospital, the staff were really triggering. They were talking about their diets and their low-calorie foods and drinks. I asked them to stop, and they said, “this is not an eating disorder is unit, you’re just going to have to deal with it. “Overall, a negative experience in the hospital. The doctor and therapist did what they could. We saw three psychiatrists while you are there. Sorry if there any mistakes in this post, I’m using dictation. Tiger just me out to say hi to you all. How is everyone today? I will be posting a YouTube video later with an update.
Ray
Hi everyone,
I don’t even know where to start. This whole trying to get help in reaching out is beyond frustrated because everyone is saying there’s nothing they can do. Insurance is saying I don’t meet criteria, yet I continue to lose weight. The crisis center and other hospitals aren’t excepting us because of the complex medical issues the trauma and the visual impairment. I feel like I am complaining and then I shouldn’t do that. I was told by a very trusted friend that he didn’t believe in SR a. He said it was my reality but that he didn’t believe in it. I don’t even know where I can go for support anymore. The one hospital that will except us we cannot get to because no one is willing to drive us. We are such a burden that no one is willing to drive us 45 minutes to get the help we need actually maybe it is an hour and a half, but still! We just want help, is that too much to ask?
Ray
