from Lilianna food TW

Trigger warning: foodt
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
hi everyone, i hate food, it causes me so much pain. i hate it i hate it. i hate being in so much pain physically. i hate our achy joints. i feel like my body is punnishing me for doing what im supposed to, which is eat. ugh!!!
Lilianna

3 Replies to “from Lilianna food TW”

  1. It’s a difficult position to be in. For me, after many, many, many years I finally realized that I don’t, in fact, hate food. However, for me it’s thus: I should eat, if I eat I’ll gain weight, eating is awful, but I need to eat, do I need to eat, if I eat I’ll never stop, if I stop my metabolism will crash and I won’t lose weight so eating is necessary, I’ll eat but just so I stay hungry, but if I’m hungry I’ll purge to kill the hunger, but if I purge my body will retain water making the scale go up so no purging, but then I can’t eat, but I should…… on and on and on. I do end up eating because treatment is no longer an option. I think I eat quite a lot but it’s not enough so I suffer the consequences because my fear of the scale is higher then my fear of even more damage to my body.

    So yeah, I get it. 😔

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s