I’m at home, and I feel very awkward. Yesterday, the conversation was all about the restraunts people went to and how good the food was. I stayed out of the conversation. Then, they had my favorite meal from before I had my tube. It was lasagna with garlic bread. I just lay on the couch and pretended to be asleep. It was so hard. Just the smell alone was just…. But then, I thought of how sick the meal would make me, and yeah…. I’m fine when it’s one or two people eating in front of me, but when it’s a group, it’s overwhelmming… I also had to ask my little brother for help with pouring my formula into my bag, and I felt guilty doing it, because I thought I should be able to do this by myself!! I kinda felt like a failure… Then, my family told me my formula looked and smelled like baby formula and it looked and smelled disgusting. And I told them, well, it’s keeping me alive and left it at that.