awkward

I’m at home, and I feel very awkward. Yesterday, the conversation was all about the restraunts people went to and how good the food was. I stayed out of the conversation. Then, they had my favorite meal from before I had my tube. It was lasagna with garlic bread. I just lay on the couch and pretended to be asleep. It was so hard. Just the smell alone was just…. But then, I thought of how sick the meal would make me, and yeah…. I’m fine when it’s one or two people eating in front of me, but when it’s a group, it’s overwhelmming… I also had to ask my little brother for help with pouring my formula into my bag, and I felt guilty doing it, because I thought I should be able to do this by myself!! I kinda felt like a failure… Then, my family told me my formula looked and smelled like baby formula and it looked and smelled disgusting. And I told them, well, it’s keeping me alive and left it at that.

Raych;

2 Replies to “awkward”

  1. I feel ya. Such situations must be really difficult for you, and you’re still new to the whole tube thing, after all. It surely must be very awkward, and also painful, when there are people around who don’t really get it, and at the same time they happen to eat your favourite meal. I’m so sorry. Sending hugs to all of you.

    Like

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