Linden Oaks excepted

Linden Oaks excepted us! We are waiting on my insurance to hopefully do a single case agreement. We are still hoping this actually works. It is the only facility in our state that has excepted us.

Ray

JUST MY THOUGHTS

HI EVERYBODY,

IT’S AMILIA. I WISH I COULD SPEAK, BUT I CAN’T. I’M LISTENING OT A SONG CALLED SPEECHLESS. IT TALKS ABOUT NOT BEING SPEECHLESS ABOUT THINGS WE’VE BEEN THROUGH. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL MY STORY SOME DAY I MEAN ACTUALLY SPEAK IT. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHER TEENS IN MY SITUATION WHETHER THEY BE INSIDERS IN OTHER’S SYSTEMS OR OTHER OUTSIDE TEENS. I’M 16 BUT FEEL MUCH OLDER THAN MY SIXTEEN YEARS. I’M JUST SADDENED THAT WE CAN’T GET THE HELP WE NEED AND MAYBE NEVER WILL. WWE WANT HELP, BUT CAN’T GET IT. IT’S SAD.

AMILIA

Good afternoon

Good afternoon

How is everyone doing today? We are doing OK. Just converting some audiobooks to share with someone in dropbox. Hope everyone is having a good day. Looking forward to this week. We have so much going on. We see our dietitian on Tuesday and then on Friday we have our interview with Department of Education rehab services in the morning, then our Worker comes, then we have therapy, and then we are going to a movie. So overall, a very busy day. Very busy week for us.
Ray

WHAT ABOUT US?

QUESTIONS TO PONDER AND MY THOUGHTS: FROM ENIGMA

SOO, I’VE BEEN THINKING, WHAT ABOUT US WHO ARE UNDERWEIGHT AND SUFFERING MEDICALLY BUT WHO HAVE GOVERNMENT INSURANCE LIKE MEDICAID? LIKE WHEN THERE IS NOTHING IN THE STATE TO TREAT OUR EATING DISORDERS? WHAT DO WE DO THEN? THEY ALWAYS SAY THAT IT’S THE PEOPLE IN BIGGER BODIES THAT GET STIGMATIZED AND DISMISSED, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEE DOCTORS THAT DON’T WANT TO FIGHT OUR INSURANCE COMPANIES BECAUSE IT TAKES TO MUCH OF THEIR TIME? WHEN DO WE GET HELP? WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE TOL BY INSURANCE COMPANIES THAT THEY KNOW THE RISKS OF EATING DISORDERS, BUT THAT SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST DIE BECAUSE THE SERVICES THEY NEED AREN’T COVERED? WHY DO WE HAVE TO SUFFER WITH LOW LAB VALUES BECAUSE THE INSURANCE COMPANY WANTS TO SAVE A FEW DOLLARS? WHAT ABOUT OUR LIVES? DON’T THEY MATTER? THE MEDICAL DIRECTORS WHO ARE MAKING THESE DECISIONS DON’T ACTUALLY GET TO MEET THE ONES WHO THEY ARE MAKING DECISIONS ABOUT. THEY JUST MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON WHAT THEY SEE ON PAPER. THEY MAKE A DECISION ABOUT COVERAGE FOR A MENTAL ILLNESS BASED ON PHYSICAL FINDINGS. IS ANYONE WILLING TO FIGHT FOR US, THE UNDERSERVED? OR, ARE WE TO “COMPLEX” FOR YOU TO EVEN TRY? WHO WILL TAKE THAT LEAP OF FAITH TO HELP US ON OUR RECOVERY JOURNEY? ALL WE ARE ASKING FOR IS HELP, AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS SUPPOSED OT BE OK. PEOPLE SAY TO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HEP, BUT NOW THAT WE FINALLY ARE, WE’RE BEING TOLD WE ARE TO COMPLEX.

ENIGMA

Poem about friendship

Here is a poem that I did not write but thought I would share here.

When troubles come your soul to try
You love the friend who just stands by.
Perhaps there’s nothing they can do
The thing is strictly up to you.

For there are troubles all your own
And paths the soul must tread alone.
Times when love can’t smooth the road
Nor friendship lift the heavy load.

But just to feel you have a friend
Who will stand by until the end.
Whose sympathy through all endures
Whose warm handclasp is always yours.

It helps somehow to pull you through
Although there’s nothing they can do.
And so with fervent heart we cry
God Bless the friend who just stands by.

from emmie TW eating disorder

trigger warning: eating disorder

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not eating makes me feel safe. i dont know why but it does. We were only allowed to have a certain number of calories growing up and now i freak out when we go over that amount, it’s like its a PTSD trigger… not sure if this makes sense.

i dont eat so i dont remember. i know the others eat but then i feel guilty cause i use laxatives… i feel like such a failure. i just wanna do things 12 year olds do. Why? Why me?

Emmie

frum Amithyst

hi it me Amithyst. i be hapy taday. i lik the computer. it be fun. i wan candy but we not have any. we hav lemon cooky but it be yucky!! me no lik it. me lik da music we play on da speaker thingy. how evrone be taday?

Amithyst 6