A day of emotions

So, yesterday, my boyfriend broke up with me and got back together with me on the space of an hour. I went there so many emotions yesterday it wasn’t even funny. I was happy, sad, angry, frustrated, and then loved all at once. I’m just glad everything worked out, but I hope he never does that again. That was a very hard thing for me to go through. I think I overreacted though, but that is normal for me.

Update feeling low

So, I am still feeling very low. I talked with my counselor today, and she told me that I have to not be on 15 minute checks or having symptoms to be able to go to church with my boyfriend on Sunday. I feel like she’s telling me it’s just a switch that I can switch on and switch off at anytime. I feel like people think that since I’m in a relationship that my symptoms should just disappear, but that’s not happening. I’m just so frustrated and alone. My last therapy session, my counselor asked me about my trauma in detail and then said the session is over and didn’t give me anything to cope with what she had just asked me. I posted about it on the living with DI D group, and people have commented saying that I should report her to her licensing agency.

Feeling low

So, I’m feeling very low today because of nightmares and stuff… I hate flashbacks and everything that goes along with it. I’m loving my new relationship so far. My boyfriend is really nice to me, and he’s really supportive to me at all times. I love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m feeling really low today for no apparent reason at all. Don’t know what’s causing it though….. Just need someone to talk to, so if anyone’s out there, please drop in some support….. Please?

Sent from my iPod

Hard night

So, last night was hard. I had nightmares  an I can’t believe everything that happened in our dreams. It was so real!!!!! SSSd So earlier this morning, my boyfriend was talking to a younger alter, and she told him that she was scared of sex….. She said she didn’t want to say this because she knew that I loved him. I might be getting a new pair of beats headphones tomorrow.

Update on life

I am doing very well. I have a new boyfriend, and we traded a few things. I will not mention what those are on here, but it I think it’s a really good thing. He’s going to help me with stuff, and I’m going to help him with stuff. We’re going to work this out, and we’re getting hopefully married next February.

Allison’s update trigger warning: abuse mentioned

Hi, I’m Allison, and I’m 16, and I’m struggling with thoughts of self-harm, suicide, and anorexia. I hate food. I don’t know howto tell Rayette about this, so ‘m writing it here hoping she will read it. Yesterday, someone cut with a razor down to the bone, and since then, I’ve thought about doing it to.

insomnia

So, insomnia plagues me again. I went to sleep at around 9:30 last night and woke up at 1 this morning. Looks like it will be a long night for me. One of my littles woke me up saying she was scared and couldn’t sleep. It was Samantha, and she is nine. I hope I can get some more sleep tomorrow night or rather tonight. I saw Dr. Bay yesterday, and he told me that he wasn’t increasing my meds because it takes up to two weeks for them to work. He said patience isn’t my strong suit, and I laughed at that.

tags[alters, dissociative identity disorder, blindness, abuse, trauma, triggers, insomnia]

coping skills for anxiety

So, i have some coping skills for dealing with anxiety. First, use relaxation techniques. This doesn’t work for me, but take a long hot bath or shower. Notice things around you that relate to your senses. For example, notice things around you that you an smell, taste, hear or touch. Practice deep breathing. It may or may not work for you. tags[anxiety, coping, trauma, triggers, abuse, crisis]

update time!!!!!!!

So, I got a new charger for my computer. I’m looking forward to typing my blog posts again…

tags[blindness, alters, dissociative identity disorder, trauma, triggers, computer=