we have 300 followers!!!! i can’t believe it!!!! thank you all so much for your ongoing support!!!! Love you all!!!! Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it.


Good morning

So, how is everyone doing today? We’re doing ok today. Still feeling suicidal though, but we’ll have to make the best of it. Have to fake it till we make it. All I know is that I can’t keep going like this. We’re continuing to lose weight. Not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. I just feel so alone. I could really use a friend. Just feeling really defeated. I want to cut. I’ve never done that before. T’i always been Amilia. Not sure why I want to do it. Does this mean I’m a failure? I hate myself. I don’t want to live. My mood is all over the place. I hate this. I hope this insurance says yes. I really really hope they do.


good news

So I got some good newsfffff!!! I’m so excited. The insurance got the prior authorization for River Oaks. Now it’s just a waiting game. Hope it goes through. They said we would have to do ED stabalization first before we can do the trauma part of the program. So beyond excited.


Update back from the hospital

Trigger warning for mention of suicide attempt so had to go into the hospital this past Monday for an overdose which almost killed us. The ER finally took us seriously and we were admitted to a hospital that we really didn’t want to go to because they don’t understand us, but the good thing out of it is that we met someone a patient who had the same issues and got us. It is sad that it had to take three overdoses in one week for my local ER to take us seriously. Glad to be going home but going home on no medication does anyone know of any medical alert I just hope that we can get through things. on

Going home, not okay

So, they have sent us home. This isn’t even legal or ethical. They just waited until the nurse who had talked to me earlier left, and then an ER doctor came in and basically said they were sending me home. Going to need all the support I can get. My case worker told me the other day that if I go to the hospital where they don’t think it is an emergency then my case worker will terminate services with them. Don’t know what I’m supposed to do. They only made like a two-sentence safety plan.


So, we are trying our best to get help, but people are not listening to us. We came to the ER last night because the whole system was feeling suicidal and at one point I came back and my meds were all laid out to take. Last night, the worker that sauce was ready to admit us. I signed a voluntary form and everything. Then this morning another worker came in and she had called my psychiatrist and he said I wasn’t eligible for inpatient. Thank goodness the charge nurse listened to me and he called my psychiatrist back. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I hope we get the help we need. I have always been told that if I’m not feeling safe that I’m supposed to go to the ER which is what I did and everytime I go they just send us home with a stupid two-sentence safety plan. This is even more concerning because now I take a heart medication. I know that if we take that, in combination with other things we will not survive at least if we take all of it. I don’t mean this post to be triggering to any of my readers. From the collective

Update time

So I got an LG v20 phone today. I’m really looking forward to using it. How is everyone doing today? Please call me with a few words about how your day is going or how you cope with your mental illness.