the evaluation

Hi everyone,Hope everyone is doing well!!


So today, as we speak right now, we are sitting on a train on the way to Chicago to the psychogolical evaluation. We are so excited to get this done. So excited to finally meet Megan!! After all these nine months, we finally get to meet!!! Yay!!!

Needing help with therapy bill

Hello everyone, I really hate asking for this, but we need help to pay our eating disorders therapist for this month. We had some unexpected bills come up that we had to pay and now will not be able to afford to pay for a therapist on top of another bill we have to pay. It is $80 a month for two sessions. We will leave our PayPal link below and if anyone can donate, it would be greatly appreciated.


Trigger warning eating disorder late night thoughts

Trigger warning: eating disorder tttttHello everyone,So just having some late night thoughts. Just thinking about treatment, and how it’s not even been a month yet, and we’re already struggling and almost back to pre-inpatient weight. I feel like a failure.. i know recovery is not leniar, but i still feel like i should have been able to keep things together longer than 3 weeks. i just feel like i didn’t try hard enough. i feel like i’m failing at recovery. this is just so hard. if we have to go back to inpatient, none of our issues will be addressed and we will end up in this same situation when we get back home. I’m just getting tired of this cycle. i just want to recover!!! Ugh!!! i hate anorexia. we’ve had it for 19 years!!! They say recovery is harder after 7 years of the illness. Why do things have to be so hard??Ray

she found us again… ugh!!!

So our biological mom found us again. This time, she found us through Twitter. When will the contact ever stop? It just amazes me how someone who hurt us so much good still want contact.

I mean, she actually direct messaged us and left her phone number. It’s just so frustrating that when we try to get away, we still can’t.


4:30 AM

Good morning everyone,
It’s 4:30 AM, and we are still awake. We cannot sleep. Not sure why, guess we’re just worrying about insurance and stuff. How is everyone? We hope you’re all well.

Always Live To Inspire

appealling and appealling

Hi everyone,

so Meridian is denying any form of treatment that isn’t an in-network provider. There are not any in-network providers to meet our needs at this time. They are refusing to cover Alsana, and we are going without treatment. so we are appealing their decisions. we just want treatment, and we don’t understand why it has to be so hard. Just completely at a loss.


medically cleared for Alsana!!!

We’ve been medically cleared for Alsana. they even have a therapist who specializes in DID there. Her name is Kat. Lily also had a good conversation with the clinician who did my assessment and is going to talk to me about it later today at our appointment. Hoping it all goes well. we might even get admitted over the weekend. Not sure though as we are dealing with insurance. Also, Alsana said they could cover my transportation costs to.


therapy appointment today

hi everyone,

so today, we had therapy with our new ED therapist, and it was ok. i learned that she wants to do mindfullness with us, starting with practicing it alone and gradually increasing to practicing it with food. She says we’ve had a lot of disappointment and rejection in our lives. she was very nice. she is goingto colaborate with Lily on things. we liked her.



hi everyone,

so we had our appointments today.

First, we had an appointment that was kinda pointless with MBH access people to update them on after we got out of the hospital.

Then the person drove us to Karen’s office for our next appointment.

We had our appointment with Karen. she said it was understandable that we would be struggling having gone from inpatient straight back to outpatient. she said to just try the best we can.

We then had our appointment with our primary care provider. She also said the same thing our dietitian said and that she would do what she could to help us get into residential. She said she would write letters or whatever she needed to do. We got lab work and an EKG and a urine test done as well to complete the medical packet from Alsana. so yeah, a long day.