hopeful update about the appeal

So got an email from Megan yesterday, and it said.. they will be sending a draft of their appeal letter to their supervisor and finalizing it, and then they will send us a copy. God, i hope this appeal goes through and we finally get treatment.. Should know something by Monday or Tuesday if they got the appeal and then the hearing has to be scheduled with the state. That could take a few months, but hope not!! we just need a break!! i hope against all hopes and odds that we will finally get the help we need!! 

Ray

therapy today trigger warning talk of ED

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Hi everyone,

so today we had therapy. Lily had us read journals from like two years ago when we were in the hospital. it was very hard and brought back a lot of things that I didn’t want to think about. I just don’t know how to feel feelings because I’m not able to name them and be comfortable with them. she wants us to do a system map and try to get to communicating with each other more. There are reasons why some don’t want to communicate right now, but I’m having a hard time explaining that to her. The ED helps me avoid dealing with the trauma, because we’re not ready to do that yet. i don’t want to feel the feelings and deal with the memories. Am I just being stubborn? That was my therapy session today.

Ray

tags[alters, ED, anorexia, eating disorder, mental health, mental iness]

the damn medical system!!!

Hello everyone, so it’s been a while since I have written here. I went to a new primary care provider today, and he took one look at my chart and said that I had too many psychiatric issues for him to be my primary care provider. He told me to go back to the provider who had made comments about my weight.. I can’t even get basic medical care. I hate the damn medical system!!!!

Ray

tags[medical, Medicaid, mental health, chronic illness, disability, insurance, trauma]

I hate insurance!

So, we still have no updates from our insurance company. They want us to do an assessment at an ophthalmologist in St. Louis which is like three hours away. So it’s going to be three hours there in three hours back just for them to say that we are blind and that is not changing. Six hours for that? It’s ridiculous! We also found out that they still have not found a psychiatrist to do the insurance companies assessment of things as they put it. They said the psychiatrist were based on availability. By the time they get the assessment set up, it could be too late. This is just ridiculous! We want treatment!

Ray

Update on how we are doing trigger warning talk of eating disorder

Trigger warning

So, we went to our dietitian appointment today, and our dietitian has said she is cutting our appointments to half an hour instead of a whole hour because there is nothing she can really do because our eating disorder is so ingrained. We were in the car earlier with one of the drivers from our insurance company, and she asked me why I needed a dietitian because I am not very big. I then told her I was anorexic, and she said she wished she was anorexic. I’ve been told her that anorexia is not a lifestyle choice. I don’t think she realized the implications of her comment, but she still shouldn’t have said anything. We still have no updates from the insurance company, and I am refusing to call my care coordinator anymore because every time I call her she has no new information. So we are playing the hurry up and wait game. It’s very frustrating. We are doing the best we can with what we have. We thank all of you for your ongoing and continued support love and patience.
Ray