I’m back

I’m back! I was in the hospital for a while. One of my personalities Amilia was threatening to kill me. My therapist and doctor both agree that I have multiple personalities, but they didn’t want to put that label on me. They said that these parts¬† of me would go away with therapy once we worked on the trauma. Now isn’t a good time to work on the trauma because the place where I’m living is closing in three months. Amilia came out to talk to my therapist while¬† at the hospital.

New Diagnosis

So the other day, I got a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder from my therapist. I have two other alters. Their names are Lucy who is nine and Amilia who is 16. Amilia is angry and self-destructive. She’s the one who cuts me when I’m not aware. Lucy is timid and shy and frightened. Sorry I haven’t updated in a while.

psychiatry appointment

I have my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. I need to discuss some things ith him like the dissociation and cutting and not remembering what I did. Hope it’s a productie appointment.

dissociation

So, last night, I was having flashbacks and nightmares, and I dissociated. When I came back, I realized that I had cuts on my wrists. Hince my earlier post about self-harm. It was really scary to deal with. This has happened once before. I just wish it didn’t happen at all.

self-harm

So last night, I ended up self-harming… I just couldn’t take it anymore. The urges were so strong… I’m okay now. I just feel like a failure because I had gone three months without doing it.

struggling

So, I’m really struggling with self-harm urges right now… It’s getting harder and harder to ignore them… Trying to relax and just talk to people… Just really struggling right now…

Happy New Years!!!

Just wanted to wish all my blogging friends a happy new year!!! Hoping 2016 is happy and prosperous. I don’t have any new years resolutions this year. I keep breaking the ones I have made.