Update for February 111th, 2016

So just felt like writing on here today. I’m feeling pretty good today. I just hope it will last… So I have a question? On my Youtube channel, would anyone be interested in me doing a daily vlog? Just wondering as I haven’t gotten very much response on my channel.

update February 8th

So, update long overdue… So, last Thursday, I went into the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I got out today, and they just raised my Prozak to 30mg. I’m moving to a place in Peoria called Sharon HealthCare Woods. They have mental health groups like anger management, medication management, money management, coping with mental illness (which is a peer led support group), community living skills, and a lot more. They also have a DBT (dialectical behavior therapy group) for people with borderline personality disorder. They also have a wellness program for keeping fit. After I’m done with this program, they have apartments through the mental health center that I can move into. They will give me a $2,000 stypend to buy furnurature for my apartment. I’m getting really excited for this move!!!

update

Feeling so sad today. I wish I could control my alter personalities. I wish I could control what they do when they’re out, but I can’t. It’s impossible. I’m not even aware of what they do when they’re out. I just wish I knew how to cope with DID. My therapist wants to work on trauma work, but I told him that if we worked on trauma, that my other personalities would come out more. I told him we needed to build a safety net to keep me out of the hospital….

update

So, I saw my therapist today, and we both agreed that I needed to work on coping skills before we start working on trauma. My other personalities have been coming out more and more. I have no control over what they do when they’re out. Amilia is angrier than ever before, and Lucy is scared out of her mind because this place where I’m living is closing in three months…

I’m back

I’m back! I was in the hospital for a while. One of my personalities Amilia was threatening to kill me. My therapist and doctor both agree that I have multiple personalities, but they didn’t want to put that label on me. They said that these parts¬† of me would go away with therapy once we worked on the trauma. Now isn’t a good time to work on the trauma because the place where I’m living is closing in three months. Amilia came out to talk to my therapist while¬† at the hospital.

New Diagnosis

So the other day, I got a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder from my therapist. I have two other alters. Their names are Lucy who is nine and Amilia who is 16. Amilia is angry and self-destructive. She’s the one who cuts me when I’m not aware. Lucy is timid and shy and frightened. Sorry I haven’t updated in a while.