so just found out that after all these years, insurance doesn’t even have all my diagnoses listed. They don’t even have PTSD. i basically have to be re-evaluated for everything!! just feel like ing crazy!!! i want out!!! i cant do this!!! this with the news that we got from our dietitian today, just to much!!!Ray
Hi everyone, We have therapy in like half an hour. Enigma needs to talk to him today about her feeling suicidal. I hope we have a good session. Ray
So we just wanted to share our YouTube channel here. We talk about life with DID, eating disorders, depression, PTSD, BPD, and other stuff. So, come on over and SUBSCRIBE and SHARE!!!
My Multiple Life
Just type it into the searchfield.
I don’t even know where to start. This whole trying to get help in reaching out is beyond frustrated because everyone is saying there’s nothing they can do. Insurance is saying I don’t meet criteria, yet I continue to lose weight. The crisis center and other hospitals aren’t excepting us because of the complex medical issues the trauma and the visual impairment. I feel like I am complaining and then I shouldn’t do that. I was told by a very trusted friend that he didn’t believe in SR a. He said it was my reality but that he didn’t believe in it. I don’t even know where I can go for support anymore. The one hospital that will except us we cannot get to because no one is willing to drive us. We are such a burden that no one is willing to drive us 45 minutes to get the help we need actually maybe it is an hour and a half, but still! We just want help, is that too much to ask?
So, how is everyone doing today? We’re doing ok today. Still feeling suicidal though, but we’ll have to make the best of it. Have to fake it till we make it. All I know is that I can’t keep going like this. We’re continuing to lose weight. Not sure how much longer I can keep doing this. I just feel so alone. I could really use a friend. Just feeling really defeated. I want to cut. I’ve never done that before. T’i always been Amilia. Not sure why I want to do it. Does this mean I’m a failure? I hate myself. I don’t want to live. My mood is all over the place. I hate this. I hope this insurance says yes. I really really hope they do.
I’m blogging from A BrailleNoteTouch. It’s pretty cool!!! I love it!!!!
So I got some good newsfffff!!! I’m so excited. The insurance got the prior authorization for River Oaks. Now it’s just a waiting game. Hope it goes through. They said we would have to do ED stabalization first before we can do the trauma part of the program. So beyond excited.
I’m not ok. Dr. Bland took us off all meds. No one will help us. Our team isn’t answering my calls or returning them. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t go to the ER. They send us home even after suicide attempts. They don’t care.
I now weigh 99 pounds. I’m 5 ft. 4. I just can’t do this anymore!!!
Are we a lost cause? It sure seems that way.
We reach out for help, and it’s like no one hears us. Amilia reaches out, and because she can’t speak, no one listens. She wants to go back to expressing her pain in other ways.
What will it take for people to listen?
I hate waking up to find myself in somewhat dangerous situations. It’s rally scary to wake up for instance in the mi.le of suicide attempts or to wake up in the ER after one. Wish I could learn ways to handle this. Just feel like things are falling apart.