trauma and depression

Trigger warning: depression and trauma
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Oh how I wish I could help Lacey. I know she struggling so so much. I just wish I could take away her pain. I wish I could take her out of the memories and flashbacks and take away the feelings. I wish I could help her want to live. She started out by protecting me, but now I am protecting her. How is that possible? I don’t know. I just know so many of us are in so much pain. I’m trying to hold things together as best I can.
Ray

struggling TW from Lacey

TW trauma and sadness
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im not ok. i hate memories. i hate flashbacks. im back there again. i dont wanna feel. i wanna be safe. i hate this. hate being so sad. just feels like a black hole. thoughts in my mind so bleak and dark… just wanna feel numb.. hate this time of year. it still feels like 2005. can hear my grandparents yelling and screaming.
Lacey 13

Is it ok?

What more can we do to get the treatment we need? What more can we do that we haven’t already done? Is it ok that we’re struggling with food and stuff and trauma right now? Is it ok or understandable that we aren’t making a lot of progress? Just feeling so defeated…
Ray

Can’t Sleep…

Good morning everyone,

So we can’t sleep. Nightmares are not cool. Not cool at all!!!! We hate this month. Think I will be up for a while. Ugh. I want the memories to stop!!!

Emmie 12

from Dana TW food

TW food

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hi im Dana. i dont like food in the tummy. i dont like to be full. i get flashbacks of the bad stuff when im full. i dont like it. i feel like im back there again…. i dont even want to think about it.

Dana 11

feeling overwhelmed (trauma) from Ray trigger warning

Trigger warning: abuse

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just feeling very overwhelmed right now. Trauma sucks and getting new memories…. i don’t need this right now. The only way i know to make them stop is to not eat, and then we just had the whole thing where Lily and us feel stuck in therapy. This hearing can’t come soon enough. Ugh, I hate this!!! wish Lily weren’t so far away.

Ray

the evaluation

Hi everyone,Hope everyone is doing well!!

Ray

So today, as we speak right now, we are sitting on a train on the way to Chicago to the psychogolical evaluation. We are so excited to get this done. So excited to finally meet Megan!! After all these nine months, we finally get to meet!!! Yay!!!

from emmie TW eating disorder

trigger warning: eating disorder

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not eating makes me feel safe. i dont know why but it does. We were only allowed to have a certain number of calories growing up and now i freak out when we go over that amount, it’s like its a PTSD trigger… not sure if this makes sense.

i dont eat so i dont remember. i know the others eat but then i feel guilty cause i use laxatives… i feel like such a failure. i just wanna do things 12 year olds do. Why? Why me?

Emmie