why?

Hello everyone,

So, I’m just wondering why we have to have the issues we do with our stomach. I hate not being able to eat a lot of foods. It sucks. I’m sitting here now drinking a protein shake because food is just to much right now. I’m sitting in the library in our apartment building wondering why we had to go through trauma and why we got stuck with incurable diseases. This just sucks. I hate being in pain all the time. I hate not being able to type very well as a result of this. 

Ray

appointment yesterday: trigger warning: medical

Trigger warning medical.

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So, we had an appointment with a nurse practitioner yesterday. She said the only thing she could really do is prescribe ensure.. She said she could try to move our dietitian appointment to an earlier date. We see the dietitian on March 9. We are doing everything we can, but it is still not enough. She also said, “you won’t lose that much weight in a month.” She said, "your weight is stable." I asked her how she knew we wouldn’t lose more weight in a month. She didn’t really have an answer. She says there is nothing she can do until I see the G.I. doctor. She said that there were probably other treatments for gastroparesis that I did not know about. I was just very frustrated by the end of the appointment. She couldn’t give me any direction on when I should go to the hospital for my weight.

Ray

Got an EGD

So we went to the hospital for an upper endoscopy G.I., and then were admitted for observation for 23 hours. We were supposed to get a CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis with contrast, but insurance denied it first on an outpatient basis, and then when we were admitted to inpatient, they did the same thing saying we need an ultrasound first. The doctors confirmed that an ultrasound would not show what they needed it to show. They need to rule out superior mesenteric artery syndrome. They are pretty sure it is gastroparesis, but a gastric emptying study is needed to confirm this. My anorexia diagnosis was changed to avoidant restrictive food intake disorder ARFID. The nurses and techs were lovely and the doctors were really nice and understanding about my situation. They didn’t even flinch when we told them about the dissociative identity disorder and PTSD diagnoses. This hospital is by far the one that has treated us the best. They were just as frustrated by our insurance as we were. They said that the best bet is to get the gastric emptying study in two weeks. We are already severely underweight, but really nothing to do about that as it is hard for us to eat more than six or seven bites without getting full early, bloating, and feeling nauseous. POTS and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome were confirmed while we were there. I touched my thumb to my forearm on both sides, and the doctor said, “yes, that’s classic Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.” They already suspect gastroparesis. I hate stupid insurance. I hate that insurance dictates the medical care we receive.

Ray

from Miranda

Hi, it’s Miranda. I’m 16. I don’t like being in pain. i hate it so so much. pain makes me feel sick. ugh!!!! why do i have to b in pain? 

Miranda

chronic pain is my companion Trigger warning

chronic pain and medical stuff trigger warning:

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chronic pain and fatigue is my constant companion. I retain urine, it hurts when I eat, I constantly dislocate my shoulders, ribs, and fingers; my hands and feet are constantly cold; if I stand to long, my legs hurt because of the blood pulling; my jaw hurts after eating or chewing; I just want to be normal, but chronic pain is my companion. Brain fog is always an issue. I just feel so alone.

I had to cancel therapy yesterday because of the fatigue. I also woke up yesterday with a dislocated rib and shoulder which I had to put back in. I knew it was going to be one of those days. I hated to cancel therapy, but it was necessary. Thanks for reading.

Ray

eating issues and medical stuff TW

Trigger warning: eating and digestive issues and chronic pain and medical stufft
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Hello everyone,
so we are really struggling with eating because of pain from eating because the food just sits there and doesn’t move for a while. Also been struggling with heart rate and blood pressure issues. I do think this is related to EDS (Ehlers’ Danlos Syndrome). All alters as far as i know have agreed to try with eating, but the physical stuff is making it really hard. We haven’t used laxatives in a few months which is good, but now we are finding it hard to even try a lot with eating because of the physical pain. The fatigue is a lot to handle. Heart rate the other day went from 82 to 132 from laying to standing. I do understand that there are mental health things going on, but there are also physical things going on as well which complicate the mental health stuff. I don’t even know where i was going with all this, except to say that we are very frustrated. The Reglin isn’t working anymore either. Ugh!! Blood pressure was 89/46 the other morning. Our new worker is recovering from anorexia, and she doesn’t understand all the physical stuff we have going on, so when she asks us if we’re hungry, and we say no, she thinks it’s because of the eating disorder, but it’ really because we know how much pain eating causes us. I wanted to be honest about this with people and hope you understand that there is more to this eating issue than just an eating disorder. We’re just really complex patients. Hoping the new PCP can help figure some of this out. She is referring us for genetic testing. I’m just at a complete loss.
Ray

Frustrations with the healthcare system

Trigger warning eating disorder and I don’t know what else
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So, I spoke to my care coordinator, Courtney, at the insurance company, and she said that as long as the state isn’t forcing them to pay for anything, they’re not going to. She said residential treatment will not be covered no matter what we do. She said I was going to have to find intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization program options. I told her that the closest one was two hours away, and she said, “well we provide transportation. “ I told her that that was not the point, but partial hospitalization was not clinically recommended by anyone on my team. I said to her, “do things have to get really bad before insurance will do anything? Or are they just going to let me die? I know my providers won’t allow that to happen, but still, I still wonder this. Why does the insurance have to govern the treatment we get when they are not even the professionals on my team? It doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to have to get down to 89 or even 85 pounds and have to do this continuous loop From inpatient directly back to outpatient, skipping three levels of care, but I really don’t see that we have a choice. As long as money hungry people are in charge of making the decisions about what they will cover for my healthcare, then I feel powerless. This is beyond my insurance company at this point. It is at the state level. I don’t understand why the laws in Illinois aren’t protecting us from this cruelty and depravity. It doesn’t make sense! Not only that, but my physical health problems are being blamed on my mental health. Eating disorders don’t cause hypermobile joints or scoliosis or any of the other symptoms of idiots that I have which doctors refuse to diagnose because insurance again won’t cover genetic testing. Insurance won’t cover my prosthetics to be replaced which I’ve had for 10 years. I don’t understand what I have to do to get the healthcare I deserve as a US citizen. I feel like I’m fighting for everything I’m asking for. I fought to have us recognized as a system. We have been fighting insurance for over two years at this point. Can’t even go to the doctor for a physical health issue without them saying that I need to get the Mental Health treated first before they can help with the other stuff. I probably sound like I’m complaining too much. I should be grateful that I’m alive.
Ray