LOST CAUSE??? *tw* suicide

Are we a lost cause? It sure seems that way.

We reach out for help, and it’s like no one hears us. Amilia reaches out, and because she can’t speak, no one listens. She wants to go back to expressing her pain in other ways.

What will it take for people to listen?

Ray

Amilia

I can’t speak so I express my pain in other ways. I haven’t cut in like 2 years, but I really want to do it tonight. I want to get rid of the food we just ate. It would be like getting rid of the feelings because I don’t want to deal with them. I need support.

Amilia 16

diary entry from hospital: Cynthis on cutting *trigger warning*

Knife to skin. I want the sweet release of the blood flowing down my arm. One cut isn’t enough. I want more. I want to go deeper and deeper. I just want to cut out all the pain, all the shame, all the hurt. I want people to se how much I hurt. I want peace, peace from the pain, peace forever. I’ve done this before, but Ray doesn’t know about it. I’ve kept it from her. I stole her brother’s pocketknife. I hope she doesn’t hate me for it. I took the abuse most of the time from her grandparents. She heard the words, but I took the beatings. I meant well, but now I feel ashamed for scarring her body.

Cynthia age 15

therapy today with DR. V

So, we had therapy today, and it was hard. We talked about me raising the number of calories I take in each day. We also discussed getting Rayette on board with getting unstuck from the trauma and getting oriented to the present. I think she will be shocked to realize that 25 and a half years have passed. He’s going to do this slowly over time. He also wants me to log the times I come back and realize that time was lost. I told him that the reason I take in 600 calories a day is because of the cult stuff, and he said he wants to work on breaking that association with food and the cult so we can be healthy physically. He’s basically getting to know us. He’s going to call the director of the ER to see about maybe letting me use my iPOD in the unit if I get admitted because of the fact that the group handouts are all in print. I told him there was an app on my iPod that I could use to take a picture of the printed material and it would read it to me. We talked about self-harm and how that Amilia does it because she can’t speak, so she’s communicating her pain in a physical way. So that was therapy.

Ray

a research paper I wrote in college on self-injury

Here is one of the papers I wrote in college on the subject of self-injury. I look back at it to know my accomplishments. I ended up getting an A on this paper.

Self-injury as a drug research paper

Rayette Rucker

English 102 Adam Cleary

Every day at school, Olivia is bullied because of her weight. She is also told that she shouldn’t be in the world anymore. She goes home every day looking forward to getting her next fix or “high” from taking a razor across her wrist. After doing this, she feels much better, if only for a moment. For that moment, all her pain melts away until the next time she is bullied, and then the process starts all over again. She keeps doing this until she becomes hopelessly addicted to it.

Self-injury is a drug. Just like Olivia, many people turn to self-injury to cope with their emotional pain. 14 to 24% of adults deal with this issue (NAMI.) Often people can’t afford the therapy or treatment to deal with this issue, so it spirals out of control. When self-injury gets out of hand, it can end in severe bodily disfigurement or even death.

A drug is any substance, product, or action that alters the chemistry of the brain or the cognitive functioning of a person. Long-term drug usage can lead to becoming addicted to the drug. This can result in accidental or intentional death. Dealing with the risk of death can also lead to medical complications. The use of drugs can also lead to academic problems because of the altered brain chemistry. The use of drugs can also become a financial burden to the user and his/her family and friends.

One drug I want to discuss is caffeine. Caffeine can become severely addicting causing headaches from withdrawal. So, have you experienced needing more of that drug? This means you are becoming more and more addicted to it. The same can be said for self-injury. People who injure themselves eventually will need more and more of the harm to get the result they want. Also a person’s pain tolerance increases each time they inflict pain on themselves. The combination of those two factors make this behavior seriously addicting.

Some people become so addicted to a drug that they don’t realize when they’ve taken too much of it and end up dying from an overdose. Self-injury can have the same repercussions. Some people may be in so much pain that they might even want to take their own lives and intentionally kill themselves by cutting. Still others may not want to die, but the injure themselves so severely that they do end up dying anyway.

Drug use can also lead too medical complications leading to hospitalization. People may need their stomach pumped because of an overdose. The brain could be permanently damaged from prolonged drug use. Self-injury has similar medical issues of its own. There can be permanent scarring and/or body disfigurement. Many people who self-injure also have a mental illness that requires hospitalization for stabilization.

Drug use can affect relationships with others such as family and friends. They may ask, “What did I do wrong that would make you turn to drugs.) They may even distance themselves from you because they don’t know what to do or say. Friends and family may even be angry, resentful, and even avoid you all together. Some of these are natural reactions. Self-injury can also be taken in the same way. The family may ask you why you hurt yourself. They may even tell you to just stop. I know from experience that that doesn’t work. The family may make you wear short sleeves in an attempt to “make” you stop.”

Some students may use drugs to make their performance scores on tests better or so they think. Still others may use it to get better concentration while taking notes. For instance, some students may go to drinking just before a class and then go and try to take a test. That won’t work because of a lack of coordination. Self-injury can have the same affects. It can become so dominant in a person’s life that it’s all the person thinks about, therefore, getting in the way of their studies. Also if a teacher sees a cut or scars, they may ask how it happened which could put rifts between the student and the teacher and break trust. It is estimated that 10 to 14% of college students engage in self-harm. (NAMI)

Drug use can also be a financial burden. The drug user’s supplies can cost a lot of cash. Also, it

Can affect the family’s financial budget. Just imagine you’re out on the streets because you got evicted from your apartment because of a drug bust where you lost a lot of money. Therefore, you couldn’t pay the rent. Self-injury can be just as devastating. You have to consider the cost of hospital bills, the cost of first-aid supplies, the burden that those bills will have on the family, and more. T

the numbers of people who self-harm is rising rapidly because treatment is lacking. The therapy and treatment is necessary to treat the underlying issues that caused the self-injury in the first place. This is not limited or excluding: PTSD, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and more. Society is now becoming more and more understanding and sympathetic towards drug abusers and addicts. Society should set up long-term treatment facilities to treat self-injurers just like the 28 day program for alcoholics recovering from alcoholism. These facilities would not let in “sharps”, such as razors, scissors, safety pins, paper clips, ectera. There should be at least three in each state or city to avoid overcrowding. This needs to happen to ensure there are enough beds to accommodate all the patients. Since this is the case, there needs to be more treatment centers or self-injury.

The issues behind self-injury can be very extensive for the person suffering with it. These can include” mental illness, child abuse and more.So, knowing all this information, wouldn’t you agree?