ive been out all day for the most part except for when the other people were here. Jennifer and Ashley were their names i think. Ray got upset and we had to go to our room as i came out and didn’t want to be found out. we are made as to not be noticed. i know we need help, but they’re not doing anything. if we don’t get help, i fear we will die… sad, but true… we are so very very tired.
hi im so so sad so very very sad. i wan a mommy. i want sumone to hug
me and tel me it wil be ok.. jus need a hug.
Here’s my latest video.
So we are at the ER again for psych. I just don’t understand why my insurance has to be so damn stupid!!! This is. Continuous cycle that needs to stop!!! We’re not really fixing the issue. We’re just glossing over it with a temporary band-aid.
so our care coordinator called us yesterday to "give us an update" but it wasn’t much of an update. she said they have to contact UIC to see if teh admission is possible. she couldn’t tell me what doctors would be involved, what unit I would be admitted to, how long the admission would be, or what the assessment would entail. Basically, i have no more information now then when we had the meeting on Friday. I’m just beyond frustrated.
Also, my dietitian is saying we need to figure out something for the shourt term for now, but it’s like putting a Band-Aid over the situation. it’s setting us up for failure. I don’t even want to argue with my care coordinator anymore, and if i had my way, we wouldn’t be talking to her anymore. Sorry for the rant.
I’ve asked people to call me Raycand that hasn’t beeen respected by everyone. I feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to have the right to be called Ray when my “name” is Rayette legally.
That name waas used in abuse to trigger us. The question remains: what if I were transgender? Would you still not respect my name preference? I guess i shouldn’t stand up for myself to ask people to call me Ray because it doesn’t seem like eeveryone respects that request. It makes me really sad because every time someone calls me Rayette, it sends us into flashbacks and that’s not cool on top of everything we have going on. Sorry for the rant.
So today, we have a very busy day. Our homemaker is coming in about 20 minutes, and then we have therapy at three. After that, we have our holiday dinner for our apartment complex. Our attorney is also supposed to be submitting the appeal to our insurance company today. Hopefully we will be getting a copy of that appeal. I am very afraid about the holiday dinner because my biggest fear is that people will be watching what we eat. Have a good day everyone, and stay safe.
its emmie. i dont want food. i want to be thinner. i just want someone to see me and actually care, like a doctor. im trying, but its just so hard. i cant stop!!! i need to not eat. Do you understand? am i alone? i just want help. i hate this!!!
what do i have to do to get treatment? we went to the new psychiatrist, and he basically said that he couldn’t help us. He also said that DID is just exaggerated BPD. he said that meds won’t help me and recommended that I continue to meet with my therapist and he’s not seeing us anymore. so much for providers actually listening to us!!! i mean, some of my providers have said that if i don’t get treatment, I will die! they don’t care!!