FROM MYRA TW TRAUMA

TW TRAUMA AND MEMORIES.
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HI EVERYONE,
I HATE TRAUMA MEMORIES. THEY REALLY SUCK. I HATE THINKING ABOUT ALL OF IT. THE MEMORIES ARE TO GRAPHIC TO TALK ABOUT ON HERE. I JUST FEEL ALONE WITH THEM, AND IT IS NOT FUN. IS ANYONE AROUND? COULD REALLY USE SOME SUPPORT.
MYRA

FROM MYRA TW FOOD

TW FOOD

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HI, IT’S MYRA. I WISH I COULD EAT SOLID FOOD. I MISS IT SO MUCH. I MISS CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS AND ICE CREAM. IT JUST MAKES US SO SICK TO EAT IT. IT’S NOT FAIR. WHY DOES OUR BODY HAVE TO DO THIS TO US? WHY CAN’T WE JUST BE NORMAL? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO SO HARD? I’M STRUGGLING TO SEE HOW OUR BODY DOING THIS IS NOT LIKE THE TRAUMA WE WENT THROUGH. MY HEART HURTS FOR EMMIE AND HER PARTS TO. THEY ARE STRUGGLING SO MUCH WITH ALL OF THIS. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE?

MYRA

from Mimi

hi its mimi. i luv da kitty. he bes so cute. he luvs me so so much. he be so soft. he lik be petted.

Mimi

explaining to littles

How do I explain to my littles about chronic illness? How do I explain that it won’t ever go away or that we will always be in pain? How do I explain that I can’t make their pain go away? I’m just at a loss? And how will I explain when we have to get a feeding tube?

Ray

from Enigma TW suicide

TW suicide

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Why do we keep trying to get doctors to listen to us? Why do we have to be in so much pain? Why do we keep trying? Just why?

Why does the insurance have to determine when and where we go to treatment? Want to be a bird and fly high into the sky and just…. Disappear!!!!!

No matter how much we advocate, we are still not in control of when or where we go for treatment. It doesn’t matter that we have lawyers involved. That doesn’t even seem to matter. We are trying so damn hard.

Enigma

Rayette Rucker

World Services for the Blind

Assistive technology instructor online trainee

Google Voice Number: (314) 637-9985

from Eliza TW trauma and sexual abuse

TW trauma

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Hi, it’s Eliza. I’m 14. I hate memories. I hate trauma. I hate that I have to remember all the things my father did to me. I hate feeling like I’m there again. The memories of being sold to all those men and having to unload my dad’s drug shipments that he got after I was raped repeatedly, over and over and over again, day after day. I hold so so many memories that the others don’t know about. Just don’t want to keep remembering this stuff.

Eliza 14

Spoke to our primary care providers office yesterday trigger warning medical

Trigger warning medical not sure……So, yesterday, we called our primary care providers office and asked her for help. We asked if they could place an NJ tube, but she said that she could not do that. She had said we had to wait for the G.I. consult on March 20. She wants us to drink three protein shakes per day diluted with water to make them easier to swallow as well as eating three full-size meals per day. This is nearly impossible. We can barely manage some days to eat some applesauce and some chicken broth. Why can’t we just get help? I also found out why I haven’t been seeing my dietitian. My primary care provider never sent in a referral to her when I switched providers. So I have not seen her since January 7. I called her and asked her for her advice yesterday, and I asked her if she could prescribe a feeding tube, and she said if it was eating disorder related, maybe. She told me to also wait for the G.I. consult. I am just getting so frustrated at this point. I just need nutrition! Dammit!Ray

Trigger warning medical

TW medical . . . . . . . So, I spoke to Alsana today, and they do not take people with feeding tubes. They said if i got a feeding tube, I would need a higher level of care. I also spoke to Eating Recovery Center, and they said that they do feeding tubes on a short-term basis. So, basically, if I needed a feeding tube long-term because of gastroparesis, no place would accept me. So once again, we don’t fit into a box of criteria. So why even try to get into treatment? Also, Medicaid is coming up with a list of places they believe will meet my needs, and they are giving that to Meridian next week, so we don’t even get a choice in the places they choose. Everything just feels out of my control!!! Eating disorder programs don’t understand chronic illness, and I was even told by Alsana that in eating disorder treatment programs, you have to eat food, and if I went there, they would need a menu of foods from my GI team that I could eat, because i couldn’t have a tube during programming. The thing is, I can’t take the only motility med they prescribe which is Reglin. She also said that people on feeding tubes are just existing, not living. I’m half tempted to ask Megan to stop pursuing the eating disorder treatment. Ray

going to California

Hello everybody,

So today we are going to California to visit a friend. So so excited!!! Yay!! Can’t wait!! Our flight leaves at 7:20 this morning!! Yay!! Have to get up in about 45 minutes to get ready to leave. So an early morning. We are all packed and ready to go. We are taking our MacBook Air with us for editing videos that we will be recording there. So so excited!

Ray

from Lilianna food TW

Trigger warning: foodt
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hi everyone, i hate food, it causes me so much pain. i hate it i hate it. i hate being in so much pain physically. i hate our achy joints. i feel like my body is punnishing me for doing what im supposed to, which is eat. ugh!!!
Lilianna