Linden Oaks excepted

Linden Oaks excepted us! We are waiting on my insurance to hopefully do a single case agreement. We are still hoping this actually works. It is the only facility in our state that has excepted us.

Ray

JUST MY THOUGHTS

HI EVERYBODY,

IT’S AMILIA. I WISH I COULD SPEAK, BUT I CAN’T. I’M LISTENING OT A SONG CALLED SPEECHLESS. IT TALKS ABOUT NOT BEING SPEECHLESS ABOUT THINGS WE’VE BEEN THROUGH. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL MY STORY SOME DAY I MEAN ACTUALLY SPEAK IT. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHER TEENS IN MY SITUATION WHETHER THEY BE INSIDERS IN OTHER’S SYSTEMS OR OTHER OUTSIDE TEENS. I’M 16 BUT FEEL MUCH OLDER THAN MY SIXTEEN YEARS. I’M JUST SADDENED THAT WE CAN’T GET THE HELP WE NEED AND MAYBE NEVER WILL. WWE WANT HELP, BUT CAN’T GET IT. IT’S SAD.

AMILIA

from emmie TW eating disorder

trigger warning: eating disorder

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not eating makes me feel safe. i dont know why but it does. We were only allowed to have a certain number of calories growing up and now i freak out when we go over that amount, it’s like its a PTSD trigger… not sure if this makes sense.

i dont eat so i dont remember. i know the others eat but then i feel guilty cause i use laxatives… i feel like such a failure. i just wanna do things 12 year olds do. Why? Why me?

Emmie

I hate insurance!

So, we still have no updates from our insurance company. They want us to do an assessment at an ophthalmologist in St. Louis which is like three hours away. So it’s going to be three hours there in three hours back just for them to say that we are blind and that is not changing. Six hours for that? It’s ridiculous! We also found out that they still have not found a psychiatrist to do the insurance companies assessment of things as they put it. They said the psychiatrist were based on availability. By the time they get the assessment set up, it could be too late. This is just ridiculous! We want treatment!

Ray

Update on how we are doing trigger warning talk of eating disorder

Trigger warning

So, we went to our dietitian appointment today, and our dietitian has said she is cutting our appointments to half an hour instead of a whole hour because there is nothing she can really do because our eating disorder is so ingrained. We were in the car earlier with one of the drivers from our insurance company, and she asked me why I needed a dietitian because I am not very big. I then told her I was anorexic, and she said she wished she was anorexic. I’ve been told her that anorexia is not a lifestyle choice. I don’t think she realized the implications of her comment, but she still shouldn’t have said anything. We still have no updates from the insurance company, and I am refusing to call my care coordinator anymore because every time I call her she has no new information. So we are playing the hurry up and wait game. It’s very frustrating. We are doing the best we can with what we have. We thank all of you for your ongoing and continued support love and patience.
Ray

anorexia thoughts *TW*

Anorexia says no food, but food is fuel.

Anorexia says I’m fat, but I’m not.

Anorexia says I’m not sick enough, but I am.

Anorexia says I’m not deserving of treatment, but I am.

Ray

Always live to inspire.

At the ER again…

So we are at the ER again for psych. I just don’t understand why my insurance has to be so damn stupid!!! This is. Continuous cycle that needs to stop!!! We’re not really fixing the issue. We’re just glossing over it with a temporary band-aid.

Ray

update from insurance company or not?

so our care coordinator called us yesterday to "give us an update" but it wasn’t much of an update. she said they have to contact UIC to see if teh admission is possible. she couldn’t tell me what doctors would be involved, what unit I would be admitted to, how long the admission would be, or what the assessment would entail. Basically, i have no more information now then when we had the meeting on Friday. I’m just beyond frustrated.

Also, my dietitian is saying we need to figure out something for the shourt term for now, but it’s like putting a Band-Aid over the situation. it’s setting us up for failure. I don’t even want to argue with my care coordinator anymore, and if i had my way, we wouldn’t be talking to her anymore. Sorry for the rant.

Ray