Frustrations with the healthcare system

Trigger warning eating disorder and I don’t know what else
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So, I spoke to my care coordinator, Courtney, at the insurance company, and she said that as long as the state isn’t forcing them to pay for anything, they’re not going to. She said residential treatment will not be covered no matter what we do. She said I was going to have to find intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization program options. I told her that the closest one was two hours away, and she said, “well we provide transportation. “ I told her that that was not the point, but partial hospitalization was not clinically recommended by anyone on my team. I said to her, “do things have to get really bad before insurance will do anything? Or are they just going to let me die? I know my providers won’t allow that to happen, but still, I still wonder this. Why does the insurance have to govern the treatment we get when they are not even the professionals on my team? It doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to have to get down to 89 or even 85 pounds and have to do this continuous loop From inpatient directly back to outpatient, skipping three levels of care, but I really don’t see that we have a choice. As long as money hungry people are in charge of making the decisions about what they will cover for my healthcare, then I feel powerless. This is beyond my insurance company at this point. It is at the state level. I don’t understand why the laws in Illinois aren’t protecting us from this cruelty and depravity. It doesn’t make sense! Not only that, but my physical health problems are being blamed on my mental health. Eating disorders don’t cause hypermobile joints or scoliosis or any of the other symptoms of idiots that I have which doctors refuse to diagnose because insurance again won’t cover genetic testing. Insurance won’t cover my prosthetics to be replaced which I’ve had for 10 years. I don’t understand what I have to do to get the healthcare I deserve as a US citizen. I feel like I’m fighting for everything I’m asking for. I fought to have us recognized as a system. We have been fighting insurance for over two years at this point. Can’t even go to the doctor for a physical health issue without them saying that I need to get the Mental Health treated first before they can help with the other stuff. I probably sound like I’m complaining too much. I should be grateful that I’m alive.
Ray

treatment…. never happening…. trigger swear word

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So, I called a few places to plead my case and to ask if they had financial assistance, and told them we had a state based medical program, and you know what they said? They said that since we had and qualified for state insurance programs, we didn’t qualify for their financial assistance program even though our insurance didn’t cover their program. What a load of crap!!! So because of my economic status, we can’t get treatment, because we’re not privelleged enough to be upper-class citizens of America. Ugh!! Damn it!!!

Ray

When you have Medicaid and an eating disorder

When you have Medicaid and an eating disorder, it is next to impossible to find treatment if treatment is not available in your state. What the people at Medicaid either don’t realize or don’t care about is that 20% of anorexics will die. My insurance company told me that sometimes people died because they don’t cover the services they need when I told them this fact. So I am taking things day by day keeping an eye on my heart rate as sometimes when I walk it goes as low as 46 or even 43 bpm which is not normal for someone who is walking around the store. I just pray every day that my body does not decide to give out before I can be helped to get the treatment I so desperately need. I go to my providers who are scrambling and telling me to go to each other with no result because no one knows what to do to fight the monster that is Medicaid. All I hear from the emergency room is either go out of state for treatment or stay home and die. What is this world coming to? All I know are money hungry insurance companies who don’t care about the person but all they care about is the profit and the money they will save by not paying for someone’s much needed treatment. Actually, they are spending more money on crisis stabilization programs that I keep going in and out of when it would be far cheaper for them to pay for the treatment I need that would also be the most effective. Instead, they are constantly telling me that I need this or that for their appeal process and so we have been waiting for over a year languishing and suffering because they want to find a lower cost medically necessary alternative. I find it interesting that there a denial letter says the services that we are requesting are a non-emergent when in the appeal itself it says if we do not get treatment I am at risk of death. How is that not emergent? And the person who reviews the appeal is a psychiatrist, but do they specialize in eating disorders? The short answer is no. They also say that we need to find treatment at a lower cost medically necessary alternative which by the way is breaking state and federal parity laws. They cannot impose a fail first policy meaning they cannot tell us that we need to complete treatment at a lower level of care and fail first before they will approve a higher level of care. They are hoping that by drawing out this appeals process, we will give up trying, and even though there are some days that yes, we want to do just that, we will not. I just hope our body can hold out. Also, they say if we need immediate treatment to go to the local emergency room, but that is a dangerous thing to say because the local emergency room knows nothing about eating disorder treatment and will give a liter of fluid in one hour which for someone with an eating disorder can kill them. I do not nor will I ever understand the logic of a government insurance, and I almost wonder if this insurance company that is run by the government isn’t put in place to continue ritualistic abuse whose goal was for the person to die which is exactly what will happen if we do not get treatment. Coincidence? I think not. The only thing I wanted for Christmas this year was to get into treatment, but that is not going to happen. At least I will be around people I love. We have a long battle ahead of us, and we just hope that physically we can hold out to see it through.

Ray

ED struggles

hi everyone,

its emmie. i hate food. Ray is eating a lot today. i cant stand it!! flashbacks are to much!!! god i hate this!!

i want the food out!!!

Emmie

went to the hospital yesterday

hi everyone. so yesterday, we went to the hospital because our PCP was concerned. we were there for 7 hours only for them to say there was nothing they could do since we weren’t suicidal. they put us in a regular room at first’s, but then they put us in the psych room with the cameras, even though we weren’t suicidal. Then they moved us back to a regular room and we had to wait to get our stuff back after mental health evaluated us.

Mental health said that they couldn’t do anything because the criteria they have for hossitalization states that you have to be suicidal for admission.

My PCP said they couldn’t let me die. so now i don’t know what to do. I feel just so stuck.

[categories eating disorders, mental illness, mental health stigma]

Intake with eating disorders therapist

So, we had an intake with an eating disorder therapist at the weight loss and wellness center. Apparently they have an eating disorder’s team. I’m supposed to see her every two weeks. I am seeing the dietitian there this coming Friday, and after that the clinical team will discuss the case to see what needs to be done from here. The therapist did say that inpatient would be ideal right now considering everything we have going on. Will keep you posted.

Ray

OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE SUBSCRIBE

So we just wanted to share our YouTube channel here. We talk about life with DID, eating disorders, depression, PTSD, BPD, and other stuff. So, come on over and SUBSCRIBE and SHARE!!!

My Multiple Life

Just type it into the searchfield.

Ray

emmie afraid of getting help

hi its emmie. im afraid of getting help. i dont want to give up the ED. i dont wanna eat. i hate food. i want help, but people dont understand. our therapist doesnt want to help. she says she doesnt have time. i just want love. i just want to be seen for me. im afraid of ray’s friends cuz i dont wanna be judged.

emmie age 12