Been in the hospital and update insurance still not paying for trauma program

Hey everyone,

So we’ve been in the hospital for like 10 days. Insurance was going to stop paying today anyway. We were supposed to have a psychiatrist appointment today, but the appointment got deleted from my caseworkers computer, so she can’t take me. Had to reschedule the appointment, but the next time he was available wasn’t until August 2. So I just got out of inpatient and have to wait until then to see him. While in the hospital, they put us on eating disorder protocol for like two days and then took us off because we were eating 50% of our meals. Was told by a psychiatrist that if I did not learn to control my dissociation I was never going to get better. He is a freaking jerk! My therapist I had there was really nice and was trying to do everything he could to get us to help we need, but the insurance company instantly shut him down when he was asking about the program in Louisiana. They said they had no funding. I find that hard to believe when they just paid for a $30,000 inpatient psych stay. This is so frustrating! I guess we are just going to have to do things on our own from now on. We are trying to meet with a different therapist who works in the same practice as Misty, but not sure how that’s going to work. Meeting with my caseworker today in my apartment. Hoping that goes well. When I got home, I had to straighten my house because my kitty cat made quite a mess while I was gone. He is back to his lovable self, and I woke up this morning to him sleeping beside me on the couch. I have an air mattress, but I’m going to have to buy a new bed because the mattress keeps losing air for some unknown reason. Well in the hospital, the staff were really triggering. They were talking about their diets and their low-calorie foods and drinks. I asked them to stop, and they said, “this is not an eating disorder is unit, you’re just going to have to deal with it. “Overall, a negative experience in the hospital. The doctor and therapist did what they could. We saw three psychiatrists while you are there. Sorry if there any mistakes in this post, I’m using dictation. Tiger just me out to say hi to you all. How is everyone today? I will be posting a YouTube video later with an update.

Ray

good news

So I got some good newsfffff!!! I’m so excited. The insurance got the prior authorization for River Oaks. Now it’s just a waiting game. Hope it goes through. They said we would have to do ED stabalization first before we can do the trauma part of the program. So beyond excited.

Raych;

Just got back from the hospital today

So, we just got back from the hospital. It was a frustrating experience. Everyone there was recommending residential treatment, but Medicaid won’t cover it. I know reallistically that I can’t afford to lose more weight but there are times when I just want to keep losing. I know it’s not a good idea. Also, my therapist wants me to bring in information for her about my DID and the ED. I can’t do her job for her. I’m not qualified to train her. She has no one to refer me to as no one around here has any experience working with DID or ED that takes Medicaid.

Meridian even director involved in my case, and they still said no that they wouldn’t cover residential. They even said that if we needed inpatient ED treatment that they wouldn’t pay for that either. I tried to get into Timberline Knolls, but that’s a long story. Here goes.

So a few weeks ago, I called TK to see about going there as my insurance said that they could do a one time single case agreement with them. I told them I was blind, and they said that they had to take it to their board of directors. I then did the intake asesment, and they said that there was no reason why I shouldn’t be able to get in. They then called me the next day and said that they couldn’t accept me because of the number of alters I have. That was a bullshit excuse. I honestly think it was just another excuse for them to cover up the whole blindness thing. Just not sure what to do.

Ray

passworded posts

So, I’m passwording the next few posts because they are diary entries from a two month hospital stay in a psych ward. Please email me at

Rayette.rucker23

If you want the password.

Ray

Passwording some future posts

So, I am password some future posts because they are diary entries from a two month stay at a psychiatric hospital. If you want the password, you can email me at

rayette.rucker23@gmail.com

Ray

a research paper I wrote in college on self-injury

Here is one of the papers I wrote in college on the subject of self-injury. I look back at it to know my accomplishments. I ended up getting an A on this paper.

Self-injury as a drug research paper

Rayette Rucker

English 102 Adam Cleary

Every day at school, Olivia is bullied because of her weight. She is also told that she shouldn’t be in the world anymore. She goes home every day looking forward to getting her next fix or “high” from taking a razor across her wrist. After doing this, she feels much better, if only for a moment. For that moment, all her pain melts away until the next time she is bullied, and then the process starts all over again. She keeps doing this until she becomes hopelessly addicted to it.

Self-injury is a drug. Just like Olivia, many people turn to self-injury to cope with their emotional pain. 14 to 24% of adults deal with this issue (NAMI.) Often people can’t afford the therapy or treatment to deal with this issue, so it spirals out of control. When self-injury gets out of hand, it can end in severe bodily disfigurement or even death.

A drug is any substance, product, or action that alters the chemistry of the brain or the cognitive functioning of a person. Long-term drug usage can lead to becoming addicted to the drug. This can result in accidental or intentional death. Dealing with the risk of death can also lead to medical complications. The use of drugs can also lead to academic problems because of the altered brain chemistry. The use of drugs can also become a financial burden to the user and his/her family and friends.

One drug I want to discuss is caffeine. Caffeine can become severely addicting causing headaches from withdrawal. So, have you experienced needing more of that drug? This means you are becoming more and more addicted to it. The same can be said for self-injury. People who injure themselves eventually will need more and more of the harm to get the result they want. Also a person’s pain tolerance increases each time they inflict pain on themselves. The combination of those two factors make this behavior seriously addicting.

Some people become so addicted to a drug that they don’t realize when they’ve taken too much of it and end up dying from an overdose. Self-injury can have the same repercussions. Some people may be in so much pain that they might even want to take their own lives and intentionally kill themselves by cutting. Still others may not want to die, but the injure themselves so severely that they do end up dying anyway.

Drug use can also lead too medical complications leading to hospitalization. People may need their stomach pumped because of an overdose. The brain could be permanently damaged from prolonged drug use. Self-injury has similar medical issues of its own. There can be permanent scarring and/or body disfigurement. Many people who self-injure also have a mental illness that requires hospitalization for stabilization.

Drug use can affect relationships with others such as family and friends. They may ask, “What did I do wrong that would make you turn to drugs.) They may even distance themselves from you because they don’t know what to do or say. Friends and family may even be angry, resentful, and even avoid you all together. Some of these are natural reactions. Self-injury can also be taken in the same way. The family may ask you why you hurt yourself. They may even tell you to just stop. I know from experience that that doesn’t work. The family may make you wear short sleeves in an attempt to “make” you stop.”

Some students may use drugs to make their performance scores on tests better or so they think. Still others may use it to get better concentration while taking notes. For instance, some students may go to drinking just before a class and then go and try to take a test. That won’t work because of a lack of coordination. Self-injury can have the same affects. It can become so dominant in a person’s life that it’s all the person thinks about, therefore, getting in the way of their studies. Also if a teacher sees a cut or scars, they may ask how it happened which could put rifts between the student and the teacher and break trust. It is estimated that 10 to 14% of college students engage in self-harm. (NAMI)

Drug use can also be a financial burden. The drug user’s supplies can cost a lot of cash. Also, it

Can affect the family’s financial budget. Just imagine you’re out on the streets because you got evicted from your apartment because of a drug bust where you lost a lot of money. Therefore, you couldn’t pay the rent. Self-injury can be just as devastating. You have to consider the cost of hospital bills, the cost of first-aid supplies, the burden that those bills will have on the family, and more. T

the numbers of people who self-harm is rising rapidly because treatment is lacking. The therapy and treatment is necessary to treat the underlying issues that caused the self-injury in the first place. This is not limited or excluding: PTSD, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, and more. Society is now becoming more and more understanding and sympathetic towards drug abusers and addicts. Society should set up long-term treatment facilities to treat self-injurers just like the 28 day program for alcoholics recovering from alcoholism. These facilities would not let in “sharps”, such as razors, scissors, safety pins, paper clips, ectera. There should be at least three in each state or city to avoid overcrowding. This needs to happen to ensure there are enough beds to accommodate all the patients. Since this is the case, there needs to be more treatment centers or self-injury.

The issues behind self-injury can be very extensive for the person suffering with it. These can include” mental illness, child abuse and more.So, knowing all this information, wouldn’t you agree?

CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aAMILIA HEND I JUST CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE….. JUST WANT TO CUT…. FUCK LIFE…. JUST WANT THE MEMORIES AND STUFF TO STOP.

NO ONE WILL TAKE THE TIME TO JUST TALK TO ME BECAUSE I DON’T SPEAK. I TYPE, THAT’S HOW I COMMUNICATE. WHY BOTHER TO TRY ANYMORE…. THE HOSPITAL CAN’T DO ANYMORE FOR US. WE LEFT THE LIVING WITH DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER GROUP BECAUSE THEY WANT TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR EVERYTHING…… JUST WANT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

when to be hospitalized for DID/mental health

so all the doctors that we keep seeing at the ER just keep telling us that they can’t help us. I told them that Amilia was suicidal, and in fact, she had been the one to take the two overdoses. The doctors simply said the ER wasn’t the place for us. I told hem that at least it would keep us safe so we can work through some things. The doctor said he couldn’t help with the alters, but we weren’t expecting hem to do that anyway. It’s just a really hard time for us, and with all the realizations we’ve had lately, we think it would be in our best interest to seek inpatient treatment. Plus what with all the eating issues and such going on…. I just don’t know. What are people’s thoughts on when to hospitalize for DID when doctors keep giving you the run around????? Thansk.

The collective

another update

So, I now live in a shelter care.  They do everything for you like cleaning, laundry and cooking. My doctor put me here after I went back to the hospital for running out of meds. My foster mom said it wasn’t her job to take care of a twenty three year old’s medications.  I’m trying to grt into a place called Mercy Ministries which is a six month residentail treatment program that’s free of charge. I’m going through the application process now. Hope I can get in. Wish me luck.