reflections for this morning

So, these are some of my reflections for this morning as I sit here listening to music. 

God, are you there? I ask this question all the time. As I sit here thinking about all the chronic illnesses I’ve been dealt. I could be angry and resentful that God would let this happen to me, or I could see that he made me like this to help other people and to see that maybe he wants to use me to help others, because after all, my story does matter and i matter.

Why did I have to go through trauma and be diagnosed with DID? Well, I can tell you this, I have DID because it makes me stronger and each of my alters are a testament to that strength. They each are a piece of the puzzle that may at times seem complicated and hard to solve, but it is a beautiful masterpiece made in God’s incomprehensible beauty and wisdom. So, on the hard days when trauma and flashbacks are overtaking me, I remember that I am made in His image. He decides the plans for my life, and nothing happens without a reason, whether that be to teach me a lesson, or whether it be for me to gain more wisdom, there is a reason for everything. If you are going through a hard time, God wants you to know that he’s not finished with you yet. He has so much more planned for you, more than you will ever comprehend or know. Much love,



I’ve asked people to call me Raycand that hasn’t beeen respected by everyone. I feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to have the right to be called Ray when my “name” is Rayette legally.

That name waas used in abuse to trigger us. The question remains: what if I were transgender? Would you still not respect my name preference? I guess i shouldn’t stand up for myself to ask people to call me Ray because it doesn’t seem like eeveryone respects that request. It makes me really sad because every time someone calls me Rayette, it sends us into flashbacks and that’s not cool on top of everything we have going on. Sorry for the rant.