ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS: MENDED BY MATHEW WEST

How many times can one heart break,

It was never sposed to be this way.

Look in the mirror

But you find someone

You never thought you’d be.

Oh but I can still recognize

The one I love in you tear stained eyes.

I know you might not see it now,

So lift your eyes to me.

When you see broken beyond repair,

I see healing beyond belief.

When you see to far gone,

I see one step away from home.

When you see nothing but damaged goods,

I see something good in the making.

I’m not finished yet,

When you see wounded I see mended.

You see your worst mistake

But I see the price I paid.

There’s nothing you could ever do

To lose what grace has won.

So hold on,

It’s not the end.

No this is where love’s work begins.

I’m making all things new,

And I will make a miracle of you.

When you see broken beyond repair,

I see healing beyond belief.

When you see to far gone,

I see one step away from home.

You see nothing but damaged goods,

I see something good in the making.

I’m not finished yet,

Ooo, when you see wounded,

I see mended.

I see my child,

My beloved,

The new creation you’re becoming,

You see the scars from when you fell,

But I see the stories they will tell.

You see worthless,

But I see priceless.

You see pain,

But I see a purpose.

You see unworthy, undeserving,

But I see you through eyes of mercy.

When you see broken beyond repair,

I see healing beyond belief.

You’re not to far gone,

You’re one step away from home.

You see nothing but damaged goods,

I see something good in the making.

I’m not finished yet,

Ooo, when you see wounded, I see mended.

Oo, I see mended.

Woo, oo, I see mended.

I’m not finished yet,

When you see wounded, I see mended.

ONE OF  MY FAVORITE SONGS: BEAUTY FROM PAIN

The lights go out all around me

One last candle

to keep out the night

and then the darkness surrounds me

I know I’m alive

but I feel like I’ve died

and all that’s left

is to accept that it’s over

my dreams ran like sand

through the fist that I’ve made

I try to keep warm

But I just grow colder

I feel like I’m slipping away

After all this has past

I still will remain

After I’ve cried my last

There’ll be beauty from pain

though it won’t be today

Someday I’ll hope again

And there’ll be beauty from pain

You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me

the best I can do is just get through the day

one life before is only a memory

I wonder why God lets me walk through this place

And though I can’t understand why this happened

I know that I will when I look back someday

And see how you’ve brought

Beauty from ashes

and made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has past

I still will remain

after I’ve cried my last

There’ll be beauty from pain

Though it won’t be today

Someday I’ll hope again

And there’ll be beauty from pain

Here I am

at the end of me

trying to hold

to what I can’t see

I forgot how to hope

This night’s been so long

I cling to your promise

There will be a dawn

After all this has past

I still will remain

after I’ve cried my last

There’ll be beauty from pain

Though it won’t be today

Someday I’ll hope again

and there’ll be beauty from pain

You will bring beauty from my pain.

Beauty From Pain by Superchick

Just had therapy

So, we just had therapy. We discussed the fact that even through everything that I or the others have done to try and kill the body, we are still alive. He told me that I need to acknowledge that I and others, (thghgh sometimes not everybody) have the will to keep fighting and that we are still surviving after everything we’ve been through. He also said that we can’t expect professionals who haven’t been helpful in the past to suddenly change and do what they’re supposed to do. He the is so much stigma and that we’re not going to erase it all. He wants me to draft a document that we have made as a plan so that if we have to go to the ER we can show it to the doctors. He encouraged me that I would prevail and that recovery has its ups and downs. He says that no one is perfect and I can’t hold myself to standards that are to high for me to meet. He wants me to make a daily goal in regards to the eating, but if I don’t meet it, he wants me to accept it for what it is. He says we take each day as it comes.

Ray

200 followers!

We have reached 200 followers on our blog. I can’t believe this! We are beyond ecstatic! Thank you to all of you who read and comment on our blog and like the posts. We really appreciate it. Kudos to you all! Keep up the good fight and don’t give up.

Ray

EATING DISORDER RECOVERY TIPS

Get rid of the scale!!!

You are not defined by the number on the scale. You are much more than that. I understand if you are trying to lose weight for health reasons, but you dont need to do it unhealthily.

Find someone you can talk to.

Having someone to talk to really helps me to know that I’m not alone. By the way, if anyone needs to talk, I’m here. You can email me at

rayetteddruckerblebc%gmail.com

Reach out for help!!

You want to nip an ED in the butt before it destroys you. I know an ED is all about control, but you want to take control of it before it takes control of you. I’ve been dealing with an ED for the last 17 years.

Join a support group.

I’m still learning to accept these tips myself, and I know there will be days when I struggle, but we all can overcome this. You are beautiful just the way you are. I believe in you. From no one else does, just remember my blog and that I believe in you. Stay strong and keep fighting no matter how hard it gets. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just felt like someone needed to hear that. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Ray

a song for all survivors of abuse and others to

Here’s a song that made me think of all survivors, and people with mental illness (eating disorders, dissociative disorders and PTSD)

She holds her dear life to the end of the sleeves in her hands

Covering up lies that she wrote with a razor sharp pen

But the steel of the blade

Is no match for the pain

Of the loneliness she’s going through

But we’ve all been there to.

Praise God we don’t have to hide scars

They just strengthen our wounds

And they soften our hearts

They remind us of where we have been

But not who we are

Praise God

Praise God

We don’t have to hide scars.

This song made me think of all survivors. 😊

Ray

Time for an update

So, I made a video yesterday on my YouTube channel. You can find me at blind mental health support. The video is the longest one I’ve ever done. I will link the video below. I’m going to get my state ID today. I start school next month. Really looking forward to everything.

You can find my video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oppafKi0k5E

Feeling discouraged

So, I’m feeling discouraged. I was told by Crisis Text Line that they needed a note from my  doctor for me to continue training. The person at crisis text line thinks the training material is triggering me, but it’s not. I can do this. I’ve always wanted to do something like this. I can do this!!!!!! I just need someone to believe in me!!!!!