Just had therapy

So, we just had therapy. We discussed the fact that even through everything that I or the others have done to try and kill the body, we are still alive. He told me that I need to acknowledge that I and others, (thghgh sometimes not everybody) have the will to keep fighting and that we are still surviving after everything we’ve been through. He also said that we can’t expect professionals who haven’t been helpful in the past to suddenly change and do what they’re supposed to do. He the is so much stigma and that we’re not going to erase it all. He wants me to draft a document that we have made as a plan so that if we have to go to the ER we can show it to the doctors. He encouraged me that I would prevail and that recovery has its ups and downs. He says that no one is perfect and I can’t hold myself to standards that are to high for me to meet. He wants me to make a daily goal in regards to the eating, but if I don’t meet it, he wants me to accept it for what it is. He says we take each day as it comes.

Ray

today’s update

So, I ate three bites of everything on my plate today at breakfast and lunch. My eating disorder is winning. I don’t know what to do. I’m slowly losing hope. Not sure where to turn. People tell me I look pretty but I don’t believe them. I see fat when I “Look” at myself (as I am blind). I can’t really see myself. I look ugly. At least, that’s what my eating disorder voice says.

today

Feeling depressed today. Feeling like I’m losing control of my eating habbits. I just want the control back. I hate counting calories and such, but I can’t stop. I’m visually impaired and was wondering if anyone on here was to.