Update and our day-to-day

So today, we have a very busy day. Our homemaker is coming in about 20 minutes, and then we have therapy at three. After that, we have our holiday dinner for our apartment complex. Our attorney is also supposed to be submitting the appeal to our insurance company today. Hopefully we will be getting a copy of that appeal. I am very afraid about the holiday dinner because my biggest fear is that people will be watching what we eat. Have a good day everyone, and stay safe.
Ray

Psychiatrist report

So we got the psychiatrist report from when we saw the new psychiatrist on the 30th, the one that we had waited three months to see. He said D ID was BPD and that we needed dialectical behavior therapy. He also wrote that I had histrionic features and that I am being noncompliant with the treatment regimen because I do not want medication. He’s not seeing me anymore. He also doesn’t show any hope in me getting treatment for my eating disorder. If any of you would like the report, I can forward it to you. He is also under the impression that I said I did not want medication for my pots.
Rey

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ED struggles

hi everyone,

its emmie. i hate food. Ray is eating a lot today. i cant stand it!! flashbacks are to much!!! god i hate this!!

i want the food out!!!

Emmie

went to the hospital yesterday

hi everyone. so yesterday, we went to the hospital because our PCP was concerned. we were there for 7 hours only for them to say there was nothing they could do since we weren’t suicidal. they put us in a regular room at first’s, but then they put us in the psych room with the cameras, even though we weren’t suicidal. Then they moved us back to a regular room and we had to wait to get our stuff back after mental health evaluated us.

Mental health said that they couldn’t do anything because the criteria they have for hossitalization states that you have to be suicidal for admission.

My PCP said they couldn’t let me die. so now i don’t know what to do. I feel just so stuck.

[categories eating disorders, mental illness, mental health stigma]

not ok *tw* ED and weight and suicide

hi its emmie. i dont want to do this anymore. i hate the food. i just cant!!! i wouldn’t mind getting down to 85 pounds or even 80. We’re already 92. or maybe we should just cram our mouth full and risk the refeeding thing. since the insurance or doctors don’t care anyway. just feeling low.

Emmie

300 FOLLOWERS!!!!!

we have 300 followers!!!! i can’t believe it!!!! thank you all so much for your ongoing support!!!! Love you all!!!! Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it.

Ray

why DO I HAVE TO SUFFER?

*Trigger* mentions weight

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why do we have to continue to suffer? i dont know. all i know is 20% of anorexics die!!! one person dies every 62 minutes from an eating disorder. I’m 76% of my ideal body weight. what more does my body have to go through? why do my issues be so complex? my issues are keeping me from getting into treatment!!! i just hate this!!! sometimes, i dont care and just want to end my suffering! my heart rate has gotten as low as 43 and as high as 159, and no, i wasnt excercising. what the hell do i have to do to get the help i need?

i cant just go to the ER for fluids because of malnourishment because if i go to the ER, they bollis a liter of fluids in an hour which can cause heart failure. and i cant eat what i’m supposed to to gain weight, because of the risk of refeeding syndrome which can be fatal!! i really feel like i’m in a lot of catch 22s. Like what am i supposed to do? I have lost 80 pounds in the last year!!! i’m just so damn lost!!!

Ray

My day yesterday and possible legal action

Hello everyone,
So yesterday I called River oaks to ask them if we could do the appeal, and they said they could not because they’re Dr. house to do a peer to peer with meridians medical director, and this cannot be done because they’re Dr. has not seen me. I then called (Meridian) to inquire about other methods, and they said I could not do the appeal that the facility had two. They said we had to do it by today which is not possible. Somehow they have it in their records that I was discharged from river oaks. I don’t know how that is because I have never been there. I contacted an organization called equip for a quality and then working with an advocate named Megan. I told her what my BMI was and how I was being treated by the medical system, and she was shocked. I’m going to see a new primary care provider this morning in about an hour, and hoping that goes well. Maybe she can do the appeal? I’m not sure though, but I can only hope at this point. I am pretty sure we are going to have to sue meridians/Medicaid. Hope everyone has a good day.
Ray
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