So, my psychologist just terminated me. He said it’s because I can’t let go of my beliefs about food. He only had 8 sessions with us. Now we have no one who specializes in DID or ED. Also, our psychiatrist’s office told me yesterday that they don’t work with patients with ED. If I want to get any kind of treatment, I have to go to Chicago for subsidized housing which the waiting lists are long for. They range between 6 months to a year or longer. Just feel so lost, defeated, alone, and depressed.
So, we just had therapy. We discussed the fact that even through everything that I or the others have done to try and kill the body, we are still alive. He told me that I need to acknowledge that I and others, (thghgh sometimes not everybody) have the will to keep fighting and that we are still surviving after everything we’ve been through. He also said that we can’t expect professionals who haven’t been helpful in the past to suddenly change and do what they’re supposed to do. He the is so much stigma and that we’re not going to erase it all. He wants me to draft a document that we have made as a plan so that if we have to go to the ER we can show it to the doctors. He encouraged me that I would prevail and that recovery has its ups and downs. He says that no one is perfect and I can’t hold myself to standards that are to high for me to meet. He wants me to make a daily goal in regards to the eating, but if I don’t meet it, he wants me to accept it for what it is. He says we take each day as it comes.
So, yesterday, we had our therapy session with Dr. V. The session went well. I discussed with him how I felt invalidated when he didn’t seem to acknowledge my feelings when I texted him with emojis. IT turns out, he was just really busy and didn’t really have a lot of time to respond. He’s also going to talk to my soon to be former therapist. I also told him that we had an alter in the system who modeled after our mother. He told me to validate her feelings but to be cautious. He gets the whole abandonment thing with therapists leaving because our problems were too much to handle. He keeps reassuring us that he won’t leave. Overall, it was a good session.
So, I have a day full of appointments. First our homemaker is coming over for an hour and ahalf to help with things around the house, then I have an appointment with my soon to be former therapist, then after that, I have an appointment with anorhter therapist to discuss whether DBT is going to be good to do right now. Then at four, I meet with my psychologist. I will blog about all those things. So you will see a few posts from us. Have a good day, and thanks for reading.
So we had our first session with the new psychologist earlier this afternoon, and it went really well. I am so thankful that I found him. I will call him Dr. V. He specializes in trauma-based issues including did, PTSD, eating disorders, and borderline personality disorder. He is very genuine and compassionate and just loves to help his clients to explore and find themselves. He is very present oriented but will delve into the past to unravel things as needed. He is very well versed in SR a and all that it entails. He is going to contact my local ER to make a crisis plan even if that means when we get in a crisis we go to the ER until the crisis passes, but we don’t always have to be hospitalized. He says that we do this when we know that we are going to act on a plan. He is willing to work with us on cooperation and communication as a System. Will do online therapy, and he takes all of his notes on his computer. This makes things easier because I know when he’s writing so I can give him a chance to finish taking his notes before I say something else. He is willing to let us contact him outside of therapy as long as what we have to say is important, like not talking about the weather or something like that. LOL he says that he knows that some of them on the inside will be resistant to therapy and he’s willing to work with that. He says he is committed to this as long as I am. He says he will work with the altars to increase communication. I am just so glad we fountain. We also have to tell our current therapist next Thursday that we have found someone else but that if that falls through to see if she would be willing to see us again, so not completely shut her out but as Dr. V said, give her an olive branch on the way out. I want to say thank you to all of the people who have read our blog. We have received 1000 likes on this blog since it was started almost 3 years ago.
So we have found a new psychologist who understands our issues and has worked with all of our disorders. He is trauma trained and knows about SRA and covert DID. He says he’s willing to work with us, and our insurance is accepted there to. He does online therapy, and he also told me that there will be times where we will go to see him and the insurance would pay for the trip. I will refer to him as dr V. Really looking forward to our first session tomorrow. Some of the others aren’t looking forward to it because of the fear that they will be left yet again. Will update you all after tomorrows session.