Posted on

email to Lily

Hi Lily,

We want to do therapy the right way. But is there really a “right” way to do therapy? We want to heal, but we also don’t want to put ourselves in an even worse place. we know we are not at the right level of care. I mean, an ED therapist couldn’t even work with us because we need a higher level of care. We don’t want to do things the wrong way, but is right now the right time to be processing trauma? I can barely think to even get this out on paper to try and explain some of our fears. We have no crisis plan if something were to go wrong. No matter which way you look at it, there is no place that will take us because we are to much of a liability. We just want to heal, but it seems the medical system and healthcare system is totally against us!!! Sorry for ranting..
Ray 
Posted on

Just because you’re on vacation TW trauma

Trigger warning: trauma 

T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
T
Just because we’re on vacation, doesn’t mean our trauma stuff stops. We shared a link that someone else on Facebook shared, and it was about child abuse, spacifically that a 13-ear-old girl had died giving birth to her father’s child. I posted about it to spread awareness. Of child abuse, and someone commented on the post telling me to take a break, that i was on vacation, and if she were on vacation, she wouldn’t post about such topics. Ugh!!! This person always likes to start drama no matter what i post. So frustrating. And other proof that your problems don’t just disappear when you’re on vacation, my heart rate was 143 when i got out of the shower even though i took my med before i got in the shower. So just because you’re on vacation, doesn’t mean your problems go away. Enough said. Rant over.
Dilia
Posted on

from Lilianna food TW

Trigger warning: foodt
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
hi everyone, i hate food, it causes me so much pain. i hate it i hate it. i hate being in so much pain physically. i hate our achy joints. i feel like my body is punnishing me for doing what im supposed to, which is eat. ugh!!!
Lilianna

Posted on

from Lilianna a teen part TW

Trigger warning: trauma and PTSD

t

t

t

t

t

t

t

t

t

t

 

Hi its Lilianna. im 13. i hate trauma. i hate remembering. i hate flashbacks. i know we need to weigh more. i know we are to thin. i dont know how to help with stuff. i am just not sure how to stay out of the memories. 

Lilianna

Posted on

Can’t Sleep…

Good morning everyone,

So we can’t sleep. Nightmares are not cool. Not cool at all!!!! We hate this month. Think I will be up for a while. Ugh. I want the memories to stop!!!

Emmie 12

Posted on

Doctor’s appointment and therapy yesterday *tw* sexual abuse

Hello everyone,
So yesterday I went to see Dr. Dynda, and he said that from a medical standpoint everything was fine as my vitamin D went up by three points. He said your weight is stable it’s above 90 pounds at least it’s not 80 or 70 pounds. He seen me in three months. He also told me that we have to restart this entire process of trying to get into River Oaks. What has all this work done for for the last year? Has it been for nothing? I just feel like everyone spinning their wheels because no one knows what to do.
Also talked to Lily on the phone yesterday and we talked about the sexual assaults that we suffered as an adult. I thought I was ready to tell her about them so I forced myself to, but that was not a good idea. I am some of the others are in flashback land. It’s not good. My doctor also wants me to go to my psychiatrist appointment today, but here’s the psychiatrist who said he does not believe we meet criteria for anything that we’ve been diagnosed with. I cannot knowingly go to someone who is not going to believe what I say. So I’m not going. The doctor did say that if I don’t go it would not look good on my insurance. He said it would look like I am not complying with the treatment they are willing to cover.*Sarcasm*
Today we are meeting with Sarrah for a two hour mental health assessment review. Sara is our caseworker. I think Amelia is going to write her a letter or something I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with that, but there’s really nothing Sara can do. If the insurance won’t pay for the treatment we need, we can’t force them.
Ray
Posted on

CANT do this!! just cant *tw*

so just found out that after all these years, insurance doesn’t even have all my diagnoses listed. They don’t even have PTSD. i basically have to be re-evaluated for everything!! just feel like ing crazy!!! i want out!!! i cant do this!!! this with the news that we got from our dietitian today, just to much!!!Ray

Posted on

OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE SUBSCRIBE

So we just wanted to share our YouTube channel here. We talk about life with DID, eating disorders, depression, PTSD, BPD, and other stuff. So, come on over and SUBSCRIBE and SHARE!!!

My Multiple Life

Just type it into the searchfield.

Ray