trigger warning medical update on us mentions cancer

TW Medical stuff mentions c*ncer. . . . . . . . . . . . . hello everyone,So, we went to what was supposed to be our dietitian appointment and an appointment with a physician assistant yesterday, and it ended up being an adventure. First off, we had the time for the appointment wrong. We thought it was at 2, but it was at 1. Got to love dissociation.So, we called Karen, and she said that her 2:00 patient might not show, so we took this opportunity to see if we could get ,the EKG done that the doctor in Chicago needed done. We got to the cardio floor only to realize that the hospital receptionist had given us ‘the wrong fax number to give our doctor in Chicago, so they never got the order. The person in registration at the hospital called my doctors office and got the order refaxed. We were so grateful to her. So, we got the EKG done, but when we called Karen back, she said she had to reschedule, so we never saw her.We then went to our follow-up appointment, and the ladz was really nice. The nurse we worked with also has two daughters with EDS and is in one of the Facebook groups we are in to!! This was really amazing!! We went to the secood appointment, and Chribbsy as she likes to be called, prescribed us some Omiprizole for acid reflux and some Zofran for We got some of the results of the scope we had done earlier, and we have an irregular Z-line which is caused by acid in the esophagus. The Omiprizole is supposed to help with the acid stuff. TW cancer mentioned. . . . . So we looked up what irregular z-line is, and we found that it can lead to Barrett’s esophagus and then possibly lead to esophageal cancer. This scared us a lot… We have to have repeat EGD’s every three years.
On another note, we were supposed to have therapy two weeks ago, but we had a doctor’s appointment so couldn’t make it.We had another one this past Friday as well, so Lily said she could meet on Saturday, so we were looking forward to that. She then texted us on Saturday to say she had a family engagement and couldn’t meet and asked if owe could meet on Tuesday. We had to say no, that we had a doctor’s appointment, so owe are meeting on Friday. We have our gastric emptying study on Februarz 5th, and hope to get the results back a few days after it. The meds will only be a Band-Aid solution as they won’t speed up the emptning of my stomach. We will see how it goes though. Sorry this is so long. Saphire is still struggling. She’s struggling with and flashbacks feeling so real, and with all this medical stuff going on, Emmie is having a hard time to. Thanks for reading, and sorry if this was triggering.Ray

Ciella in therapy

Hi everyone,

It’s Ciella.

So Friday in therapy, Lily was talking to me on Zoom, a video conferencing platform, and she saw our shirt, and she thought it said allergic to Mommys, but it said allergic to mornings. I pointed this out to her, and she said, “well, guess I have bad eyesight,” and I said, “not as bad as mine.” We laughed for like 5 minutes straight. It was hilarious. We love her so much!

Just thought you could use a laugh for the day. 😊

feeling overwhelmed (trauma) from Ray trigger warning

Trigger warning: abuse

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just feeling very overwhelmed right now. Trauma sucks and getting new memories…. i don’t need this right now. The only way i know to make them stop is to not eat, and then we just had the whole thing where Lily and us feel stuck in therapy. This hearing can’t come soon enough. Ugh, I hate this!!! wish Lily weren’t so far away.

Ray

? Not a good enough anorexic? not sick enough?

Going to the doctor in a little bit, and I know I have gained weight. My fear is that he is going to say I am not sick enough for treatment because I gained 2 pounds. I just wish this were easier for us to handle. I hope we are able to get into river oaks. I know I need treatment, but I still can’t help feeling that I’m not sick enough that I don’t deserve it.

Ray

Been in the hospital and update insurance still not paying for trauma program

Hey everyone,

So we’ve been in the hospital for like 10 days. Insurance was going to stop paying today anyway. We were supposed to have a psychiatrist appointment today, but the appointment got deleted from my caseworkers computer, so she can’t take me. Had to reschedule the appointment, but the next time he was available wasn’t until August 2. So I just got out of inpatient and have to wait until then to see him. While in the hospital, they put us on eating disorder protocol for like two days and then took us off because we were eating 50% of our meals. Was told by a psychiatrist that if I did not learn to control my dissociation I was never going to get better. He is a freaking jerk! My therapist I had there was really nice and was trying to do everything he could to get us to help we need, but the insurance company instantly shut him down when he was asking about the program in Louisiana. They said they had no funding. I find that hard to believe when they just paid for a $30,000 inpatient psych stay. This is so frustrating! I guess we are just going to have to do things on our own from now on. We are trying to meet with a different therapist who works in the same practice as Misty, but not sure how that’s going to work. Meeting with my caseworker today in my apartment. Hoping that goes well. When I got home, I had to straighten my house because my kitty cat made quite a mess while I was gone. He is back to his lovable self, and I woke up this morning to him sleeping beside me on the couch. I have an air mattress, but I’m going to have to buy a new bed because the mattress keeps losing air for some unknown reason. Well in the hospital, the staff were really triggering. They were talking about their diets and their low-calorie foods and drinks. I asked them to stop, and they said, “this is not an eating disorder is unit, you’re just going to have to deal with it. “Overall, a negative experience in the hospital. The doctor and therapist did what they could. We saw three psychiatrists while you are there. Sorry if there any mistakes in this post, I’m using dictation. Tiger just me out to say hi to you all. How is everyone today? I will be posting a YouTube video later with an update.

Ray

insurance denied the authorization

So the insurance company has denied the prior authorization for river oaks in Louisiana. They say that there is not enough clinical information in the authorization for them to approve it. I am going to have to ask my psychiatrist to send in an authorization which is another one for them to approve or deny. If they deny this one, then we don’t have anywhere else to turn. We don’t have anywhere to go if we are not feeling safe at his new place is more except us at all. Spoke to my therapist earlier, and she got frustrated with me because our conversation was more than five minutes long. Also tried calling back a few minutes ago to speak with another case manager, and the receptionist said you know they’re busy they have other clients. I just don’t see how these people got their job to begin with with the abrasiveness of their attitudes.

Ray

Dark Place

I’m not ok. Dr. Bland took us off all meds. No one will help us. Our team isn’t answering my calls or returning them. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t go to the ER. They send us home even after suicide attempts. They don’t care.

Trigger Warning:

I now weigh 99 pounds. I’m 5 ft. 4. I just can’t do this anymore!!!

Ray

Just got back from the hospital today

So, we just got back from the hospital. It was a frustrating experience. Everyone there was recommending residential treatment, but Medicaid won’t cover it. I know reallistically that I can’t afford to lose more weight but there are times when I just want to keep losing. I know it’s not a good idea. Also, my therapist wants me to bring in information for her about my DID and the ED. I can’t do her job for her. I’m not qualified to train her. She has no one to refer me to as no one around here has any experience working with DID or ED that takes Medicaid.

Meridian even director involved in my case, and they still said no that they wouldn’t cover residential. They even said that if we needed inpatient ED treatment that they wouldn’t pay for that either. I tried to get into Timberline Knolls, but that’s a long story. Here goes.

So a few weeks ago, I called TK to see about going there as my insurance said that they could do a one time single case agreement with them. I told them I was blind, and they said that they had to take it to their board of directors. I then did the intake asesment, and they said that there was no reason why I shouldn’t be able to get in. They then called me the next day and said that they couldn’t accept me because of the number of alters I have. That was a bullshit excuse. I honestly think it was just another excuse for them to cover up the whole blindness thing. Just not sure what to do.

Ray

IN THE ER

So we’re in the ER again. We haven’t been here for three months. Just couldn’t handle the meds not working. The system was going down fast. I was actually on lockdown because I couldn’t cope. Now it’s just a waiting game to see if anyone accepts us. I texted our insurance care coordinator to tell her that they needed to pay for the treatment I needed not subpar treatment. I will keep you updated if I can. Thanks for reading and all your support.

Ray

NO THERAPIST???

So, my psychologist just terminated me. He said it’s because I can’t let go of my beliefs about food. He only had 8 sessions with us. Now we have no one who specializes in DID or ED. Also, our psychiatrist’s office told me yesterday that they don’t work with patients with ED. If I want to get any kind of treatment, I have to go to Chicago for subsidized housing which the waiting lists are long for. They range between 6 months to a year or longer. Just feel so lost, defeated, alone, and depressed.